Living with mental health problems and being so public about it through this website certainly gives me something to write about. I’m either laughing or crying most days. Every so often though, during a walk down in the valley I reach out in the most unheard of ways possible. How many people are so self centered that they would ask others to answer a questionnaire about themselves?
Hhrhum. cough, cough. me…cough
Maybe I do it because deep down I know I am loved and those people who love me will respond and man the answers make me laugh because they are telling me what I already know but unable to see sometimes. I am what I am and I like what I am. There are times when my mind becomes so clouded that nothing exists. There are times when my mind is busy, traffic is whirring back and forth creating an ongoing conversation that only I can digest and hear. When either of those two states of being are missing something quite wonderful happens another state of being comes over me and just lets me be me right here right now, unedited.
I watched Adaptation tonight for the umpteenth time. Nicholas Cage in the first five minutes of blackness in the movie just talking hits me in the gut every time. It is one long run-on sentence of dictated thought. It is a brilliant opener to the movie.
Thank you to all who who responded and sent an email or answered my questions online. It means the world to me. God, now I’m getting all teary eyed. The good tears you know. I love you guys.
So yah! Joshua I’ll return your email and maybe I’ll show you my bedroom again. Darren you witful reason rocks! Karen and Shyanne come for a visit to the Wild West – I miss you both! Ana so beautiful in pink. Junko an inspiration to me. Mom thank you for being my mom. Chester I am a pinging. Leah, OMG – the farting and I could never forget the power puff girls. And Eric because he put on cookie on my lap the other morning when I was freaking out “Ahhhh here’s a cookie” setting it down on my knee smiling then shrinking away. All I could do was smile and giggle and make a funny face and respond “I already ate two”. Eric doesn’t read my website so I’ll talk about him in the third person. This is rather funny to me because he is big man, my boyfriend, standing tall at 6’4″.
There is something beautiful happening in the world right now. It is becoming smaller. Just by asking some questions I received responses from people located all over the world. Knowing you are not alone and thus feeling it through interaction even though it is virtual is the stuff movies are made of. The online and offline world are meshing and will soon become one.
Becoming a blogger has been one of the most rewarding decisions of my life. I am not alone. Thank you.