Holy sheeeese. The New Year has begun. I have sat down close to 15 times today to write. Instead I wonder to the deck and peer out to the visual world. What I like about this view is there is nothing commercial about it. Advertisements are not visual from here. I don’t see them. Ha ha. The only advertisement attacks from this view engage the viewer via the air. The ships in harbour are amply distant from legible range.
But in the air at night, doth commeth a light, from the Vancouver National Exhibition. Four laser light fuzzy wands reaching and touching cloud cover.
Everything happens at once.
It always happens at once or never at all.
A cat paw is the cutest thing on earth.
Anxiety = not having a journal que je me l’écrire dans, par la main, avec un stilot Pilot!
Je peut parlé le français ci je practice plusque trois temps par année.
I want to paint in extreme colour laughing at the mixing of silence with wetness. Is it possible to feel driven to create. As much as things have been absolutely nuts in my life they are also inspiring to just fucking do what I have been dreaming of. I feel like I have been given a second chance. A third chance? So many chances to count. In hind site were they chances at all and could they resemble stepping stones to being independent. And take a look at what independence means. Could it mean accepting oneself just as one is with all one’s unique limitations and problems.
I think I have been striving for greatness. I think about being great, good and happy. Done. That all. That’s it. I’m not even fond of that word greatness. It conjures up images of search, destroy and conquer. I don’t want to conquer anything. I certainly wasn’t educated in school or by my family to conquer someone or something. So why is there this empty feeling that comes with greatness.
Greatness. How did this idea even appear in my head. So negative really. I want to blame something. That something is advertising. Shame on you. Do not ever tell me again to purchase something to make me normal.
We are all ok just the way we are.
A dog does not know the difference between wet and dry, when it comes to bedding or upholstery.
Funny thing about blogs is that it is impossible to reveal everything.