During the month of May
I go to be tested for
On a waiting list for 18 months.
This is a long time.
I got the call:
Whaaaaaaaaaa?” went I.
To be living in a friendly bug environment. That is, bugs that drink human blood for a living are not welcome. This brings thoughts of returning to a vegetarian diet with dairy products and fish diet.
Go to orientation at Gallery Gachet.
MailArt continues. New MailArt to send and pics of what has been sent and since arrived.
Blog about design. GULP the fear. I will be shedding fur on this. Take the fracking word “expert” off of my resume. Dammit. Old habits die hard. Think abote dat. Writing down expert is what I learned to do. Notice past tense.
Ask questions when uncertain before whirlwinds ensue!
Purchase missing/lost mini-dv camera parts so I can snap pretty pictures. It is not possible to scan my garden. What would the neighbors think? Agfa hovers above my garden. A bright white lightâ€¦ mania ensues. Google knows.
Find my memory. Joking.
This is funny.
Kitchen table and no chairs.
Drafting table and no drafting table chair.
Two love seats and no coffee table.
Officially announce that I joined the experiment.
I am now a Scientologist. That is a joke to. I can identify with being Catholic as I was raised such, and have that guilt that many people whisper of. Is that what I believe. I believe in people, ideas and common ground. Public ground? Does belief hurt?
Be kind to the unknown.
Plant tomatoes and other warmer weather lovers.
Revisit the idea of routine.
Right the wrongs and be.
Strive to do what you write and say what you believe.
This a personal note to myself that I am progressing. You are welcome to read and comment. I edited and updated the original list which can be found here.
I was commissioned back in January to paint four paintings (by a person who wishes to remain anonymous) or as one large painting that depicts the four seasons in my own style of painting. There was no time period set as a completion date for delivery. I will set one now. Friday, April 20/2007.I have set up an almost functional artists studio. Yay. I am currently on the look-out for a drafting table chair or another chair suitable for the existing drafting table already in the studio.
- I am now completing the design and logo for Scott Wallick and his wife Binita. I have begun the project and have already sent the initial proofs and they have since come back to me for alterations.
Things got out of hand this week Scott. I am making the necessary changes in my life to complete this project. Date for completion – April 08/2007.I moved all my office furniture and computer related geekery into the second bedroom . I bought myself a pot of daisies; violet, yellow and white. They sit on the computer desk beside Missy in her basket. I need toothpaste.Found: a tiny travel size toothpaste in the bathroom. Will need toothpaste soon. 😀 Rodrigo Pradel’s MailArt arrived in the post today. Made my day dude! I have yet to open the package and peer inside. I am excited about this. I hope my packaged MailArt arrives to you soon. I sent it regular mail as I could not afford express mail. Discontinue use of Pepsi tomorrow. I began drinking an awful lot of it during the past week and especially last night.I am drinking Pepsi and I like it. Return all bottles/cans for money tomorrow. Buy toothpaste and cigarettes with money.I’ll be walking a few bags to the redemption center every other day to get out and exercise and earn some money at the same time; albeit a few bucks per trip. Returned.
- I have enough food.
My hydro and internet bills are current. I will need to cover another $500 in rent if my ex-roommate stops payment on her check for this month. I have 3 months to cover that. I DOHave to cover the other half rental related expenses. she did not pay I have until the end of the2 months to cover that.
- I will be signing a new lease with my landlord in my own name.
No roommate, no ex-boyfriend. And the hard feelings I have for them are fading. I am as much a part of this mess as they were.
- Breathing. Breath
deeplyin and out for 10 breaths.
- I got myself into this mess and I will get myself out of this mess. Messes
canbe organized. I willam doing my best.
- Try not to Think about the past. If it comes into mind, accept this and, it will pass. The future is
notnow; therefore the present is. peaceful of mind. Do NOT go into more debt. I have not gone into more debt since my ex-boyfriend left.Working pays off debt. It has been hard but I am doing it.Continue working. Working is good. I can not begin selling my artwork online through Etsy because I cannot and choose not to use my Visa.I have fourtwo more payments to make and Visa will be happy. I had already negotiated with them back in January to make 6 equal payments and not use the card while making them. I have made two payments thus far. I am proud of myself for doing that and am sticking to it. These negotiations have kept me out of collection. I had excellent credit through my twenties and early thirties. I hope to have that back again as I enter my mid-thirties. Go see my doctor and speak with her about a prescription. I went and purchased Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride (Benedryl) to combat an extreme anxiety attack where I broke out in hives and something leaked in my right ear. Talk to the doctor about this. Show her the pages I wrote out after the attack. Ask about getting my hearing and vision checked. Pray to whatever is out there.Meditate. If you areinterested in sponsoring this Blog? please get in touch with me. You canContact me. easily now. I created a contact page And thanks to an article on Lorelle’s Blog that pointed me to a great contact plugin by Mike Cherim. Note to self – Donate to the plugin creator via paypal today. Done.Thank you, Lorelle and Mike. Contact AstroNutrition for any immediate design work they need done, today.I am currently freelancing for AstroNutrition and the work will be finished this evening.
- I contacted Gallery Gachet located here in the city of Vancouver two evenings ago. They specifically work with mentally retarded people. Strike that. 😉 They work with Artists who are facing mental health issues and who use their feelings to create their art with. They have many links to organizations who work with artist’s to overcome personal fears and in so doing, help them make a living through their art. I hope they respond to my inquiry. Gallery Gachet responded to my inquiry by mailing me a brochure through the post. I am also attending an orientation session on May 7th. I am hoping to write a proposal to them, for an exhibit idea. The deadline for this is in July for possible 2008 exhibits.
allthose around me, including myself. RemainBe calm andto focus. on on the above numbered tasks.
Anxiety can fuck ya up fer real. Trust it will pass. Reality will seep in eventually. Physical symptoms will ease. I still find it incredible that, an anxiety attack can last weeks and produce physical symptoms. It’s akin to having a flu particularly affecting thought and emotion coordination. I haven’t experienced hives come on that fast since late 2003. I had forgot what to do and now remember again hence the purchase of antihistamine. What I don’t quite understand is why I freak out.
Robert asked that question and I need to, to.
What do you really want?
Since having an IUD inserted six weeks ago, I have noticed an increase in blood flow during menstruation. The keeper is just not cutting it. The keeper keeps the blood in but there is no overflow protection, therefore I must resort to emptying it every 6 hours not 12. I sleep longer than six hours. This angers me. I don’t mind stained sheets. These are new sheets though that I received as a Christmas gift and they are white.
No, they are white, red and now come accompanied with a little bug. This bug is named Bed. It bit me. I didn’t know it was biting. I was sleeping while it dined on my blood. Why all of a sudden is there a bug in my bed.
I had been laying on my back sound asleep. I woke up with this immense full feeling in my lower abdomen and ran to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet. So much blood.
The reusable menstrual cups (keepers) are designed to hold roughly 30 mL (1 ounce) of fluid, which is a third of the entire volume of blood lost in an average woman’s period.
36 48 hours into this period and I have lost 4 ounces of blood. I’d gather a guess closer to 5, likely, more. Womyn get the more part. For you men, we lose blood sitting on the toilet, standing up from the toilet only to have to sit back down again to leak more menses, when we are in the shower, when we are in bed, when we brush our teeth, go to work and then back home again.
After sitting on the toilet, I drank a glass of water and returned to bed. I felt disoriented, not quite awake. An hour later I awake to urban noise as per usual (even though I sleep with earplugs) peering straight ahead not quite focused I see a flat red dot move, then dart directly under the duvet cover close to my nose. Vaguely thinking “that wasn’t real” I snap my right hand up and slide the flat red dot on and in between the thumb and middle finger. My eyes brightened, focused and realized in horror that this red dot moved. I slightly squeezed and it popped.
All this blood squirted from between my two little fingers. Squirt, leak, melted. Then the dot was paper thin. It had been but one sixteenth of an inch a milli-second before. I sat up and looked. A dead bug no longer walking. In haste, I wiped it down on the orangish panel wood floor from my fingers. I haven’t been able to go back in and wipe the dead bug up. I think I’ll use clear tape.
I didn’t make this up you guys. The Dead bug walking post published a couple of days ago was of a dead bug walking and is purely coincidental that a dead bug indeed walked (right past my nose and at that distance from the human eye appeared the size of an elephant).
Next Day – I used clear packing tape to lift the remains of the dead bug up off the floor. I stuck this taped red dot dead bug to one of Rodrigo Pradel’s MailArt Paintings. Yes, his MailArt arrived and I have begun working on them.
Now there are two dead bugs taped to paper. I never thought I would create dead bug art.
Title – Chocolate Chip Cookie Flowers
Medium – watercolor, micron 005 pen and colored pencil on cold press watercolor paper
Paper size – 4″X10″ (10.2cm X 25.3cm)
Painting size – 33/16” X 93/16” (8.1cm X 23.3cm)
Artist Statement – These edible flowers have little winged chocolate chip cookie bugs that survive on the nectar of this species. Think of this as an orchid; without each other, neither would survive.
Price – $400CDN ($350US)
Please use the contact form on this Blog to send me your mailing address for shipping. After the paypal payment has been approved and accepted, I will package and mail your purchase the following day.
EDIT – Until I learn how to embed the paypal button you cannot purchase this illustration. In the mean time enter the contest below. Button has been removed.
This is a rare illustration signed with my married name of JB not JD (Jessica Doyle). I have since divorced and returned to legally signing my maiden name of Doyle. For close to three years I mostly used my legal married name when signing illustration and/or art.
The contest – Can you guess what my married name was?
This contest is open to anyone who does not know me in real life; that is, anyone who has met and spoken with me offline cannot enter this contest. Anyone who knows me solely from being online can enter this contest. As far as I know there exists only a few references containing my married name that begins with the letter B online.
Are you smart enough to find my married name? If you are and you guess the right name with the proper spelling by leaving your guess as a comment on this post, I will email you a 300dpi ready for print jpg of the above Chocolate Chip Cookie Flower illustration for your personal enjoyment.