I don’t know what I’m doing

I really don’t. I’m pooped. I’m tired. I’m just kind of waiting for something but I don’t even know “what” that is. Maybe I’m not waiting… maybe I’m glad I’m in limbo between mind, body and soul. Maybe this is what life is all about. Maybe there is nothing bigger or better. Maybe everything we have been taught is false and reality just doesn’t exist.

I’m not down in the dumps. I’m not down and out. I’m not happy BUT I’m not sad. I wanted to write but the words are confusing and ideas are smushing together lately.

The weather here in New Brunswick is odd for this time of year. It’ been hot for October. Leaves are remaining greener longer than normal. Normal is just an idea. An idea that someone made up to appease people into thinking they were all alike when in FACT we are different. I am different. I am NOT like you.

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7 thoughts on “I don’t know what I’m doing

  1. And maybe this is just a computer talking back to you. I never liked the idea of normal. To many expectations that way too few can ever meet, it demands comformity.

    It sounds like you have the blaahhhs. Fight on.

  2. Mr. Computer thanks for talking back. Really, I mean that. Brian it just happens to be one of those days where conformity (as you mentioned) seems unattainable and is progressing towards insanity.

    Punch. Punch. PUNCH!

  3. I loose hair in my beard during stressful times. The last six months have been extremely stressful, and I have a small bare patch in my beard. But I’m doing better. I have a fever though…

  4. Range I’ve been ridden with cold sores. You can shave your beard to hide the bald patch? Make-up on cold sores just extends the life of the cold sore. Why you so stressed out?

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