Artist Tip #18 – Are you feeling it?

Seems these last few weeks that feeling has been there as quickly as it goes. I left my journal at a friend of friends house and have yet to retrieve it. She said the night earlier she would run it up and punched my phone number into her phone as I exited the cab. Never trust a drunk person. I forgot it. I’ve been trying unsuccessfully to get her phone number from that good friend and she has not written back with it yet. Three weeks have passed.

I think I’ll trek down to this woman’s house tomorrow. Thoughts of her 11 year old daughter destroying the journal race through my head. Truth be told NEVER lend your good pens to someone who is NOT an artist. They will use them like a hammer. Once I have my journal back in hand I’ll Illustrate why. The pen’s tip in question has a leak now and no longer flows smoothly with green ink to paper. This mishap was from another night out with another good friend. A month has passed since.

I’ve not been feeling it lately people. I’m lost in this small city. Old friends are wonderful yet they don’t fill that creative void yet I just continue going out with them to the same old hang outs that play god awful music. I’ve never in all my life heard so many trainwrecks in 15 minutes times 1000. The clubs here change owners every year or so. A new Gangster moves in. A new name is given to the club thus increasing attendance in the short term yet the music remains pop, top 40 and country and these people call themselves DJ’s. Blasted! Two week’s have passed since.

You know what makes me happy… drawing, creating, conversing about life and my family. Not bars, cars, American Idol and certainly not hockey. Good food, a good documentary and a glass of wine is divine. Yes, folks I do drink alcohol with supper or socially. And yes, folks I am sober of chemicals for almost a thousand days.

A male friend of mine and I broke up recently. I miss him. I miss people with whom I used to create with on a weekly basis in person. I miss Vancouver or is the memory of that, just intense.

Pulling out my journal here to draw or write amongst friends is futile. There are those few who respect silence while we each do our own thing whilst enjoying each other’s presence. It’s not all bad. I’ve been absorbing it all and I’m full and fighting the urge to explode. Mmmm miniatures is not cutting it at the moment. Maybe some larger acrylic painting…

I do believe this city has something for me. I believe I have something to give this city. I’m here. The city is here. Neither of us are going anywhere anytime soon.

I will not run nor hide nor continue to do the things I am doing as some of them don’t feel good. And if it’s not feeling good then don’t do it.

So are you feeling it? Ask yourself that.

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Next Artist Tip – Fighting for the right to be an artist

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8 thoughts on “Artist Tip #18 – Are you feeling it?”

  1. Sadly “The Feeling” comes and goes. Or perhaps it never leaves and is just drowned out by other things? Either way the idea is to bring it to the foreground. Music helps. Always. Find new music. Possibly, but not necessarily, newly recorded, but definitely new to you. Maybe the link below will help, kind of a combination of visual and musical artists.

    Also get back your journal before it is defiled by preteens.

  2. I am constantly trying to make sure I don’t leave my sketch book places like I do my coffee mug. Though so far I have been lucky in that it stays in my mind strong enough.

    I know what you mean about finding the quiet space in which to just draw… not easy. Though for a while when I was supplying and didn’t have work on a given day I’d end up in Java Moose sipping a coffee and drawing or even painting a small watercolour.

    But the mood comes and goes… two Sundays ago was a really good day. I sketched out ideas for 4 painting and started base coating one, and worked on details on another that is almost finished now. I’m always up for some good food, good wine and a good show… or just sitting quietly together drawing. Later.

  3. Andrew something i don’t seem to do is listen to music. My poor laptop will overheat and shut off if I listen to itunes while working in photoshop, indesign, and online at the same time. But in hindsight when I’m actually drawing by hand duh… I could indeed turn it on and up.

    I have yet to get that journal back. My mom tore two ligaments off the bone in her foot. I’ve been housekeeper and chauffeur to her for 3 days now. I’m glad i can do that for her in the least.

  4. Brian, I leave umbrellas, wallets, journals and pens at friends. The ones who know me well put them in a cupboard or safe place until I can retrieve them.

    I am wondering about my journal. LOL. I can’t believe i don’t have it back in my hands yet. Family comes first before journal though. See comment I left above about my Mom.

    We should go see a movie dude and bring your sketches you did!!!

  5. Hey Jessica I know this post was two years ago but Im up late painting and while taking a small break I thought I’d catch up on my blog reading. I understand that feeling and I never leave my journal and I also understand the whole lending out your pens to non artist. Case in point while I was at the salon I work at waiting for my next client to show up I decided too sketch up some new ideas while sitting at the front desk. Pens seem to escape the front desk so a coworker asked if her client could write a check with my pen. Well I did and she ruined it. It did the same thing your pen did. Now I say no politely and explain why.
    As far as the company I seem to know a lot of cool artist in Canada but non here in DC….Maybe I should try to get out more… Most of my friends are hairstylist that party hard on the weekends the ones that don’t have husbands and small children. I sit in coffee houses a lot by myself. I use to think it would be cool to have an artist for a companion still not too sure about that though…

  6. Pens are our tools for sure and they are no different than the doctors needles or the judges gavel.

    I’m pretty grateful to have my online friends and family… including you! Merry Christmas!

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