I walked into the kitchen to wash my hands and met a ghastly hilarious sink filled with smelt. It took me by surprise. I stepped back, laughed and walked to the bathroom to wash there instead.
My uncle had been ice fishing for smelt and Mom was thawing out the frozen fish for cleaning, then cooking.
Later that night (last night) I attended a party at my brother‘s place. I was holding onto optimism that sales would increase this coming week and decided to leave my laptop, business and ideas at home so that I could relax, have a few drinks and hang out with great people, some of whom, I’ve known since early childhood.
A few hours into the party I secured a small design contract and a babysitting job.
So, how does self confidence relate to Smelt? Those fish in the sink, eyes wide and dead, no longer alive, being readied for gutting then cooking caused a realization that that could all to often be me, just floating there lifeless. Not progressing, not fighting, watching what everyone else is doing and not taking charge of my own life. This is not to say that I sit doing nothing and more importantly that I don’t work hard or do the things I need to do to better myself through continually learning. It just means that I was stuck for a few days in limbo…
…caught in many ideas mounting themselves to the brain and not being able to keep up and get them out fast enough. The creative process is such at times that it can make you feel worthless when your income drops and all the media pushes on you is Economics and how bad they really are right now. In actual fact things are not that bad.
Seriously, things are not that bad.
And when you let go of the notion that the world is awful, you’ll see that everything is connected and that your self confidence is directly related to your income level and the finality of your creative process.
When new ideas form it can be months or even years before the final fruit grows into being. It took months of planning, researching and designing both the product and packaging before finally launching the line of miniature greeting cards. I felt crazy during that time until the listings went live. And because I was diligent in perfecting the templates, process and final product they have indeed gone onto being one of my top sellers.
Here I am again, on the verge of completing a new product and I feel nuts, easily distracted and almost to the point that I want to float silently on water and let someone else decide the outcome. That will not come to be. And therein lies the truth behind the struggle.