Monthly Archives: December 2010

The Cathedral

mandala, markers, fabriano quadrato artist journal, jessica doyle art, drawing, ink, sketchbook, sketch, pen

A short fictional story…

A simple handshake made her heart flutter… made her exhale and unable to inhale and she hasn’t been quite the same since.

On Christmas Eve everything changed. I felt electricity flowing when I turned and shook your hand and wished you Merry Christmas near the end of Mass. I haven’t been the same since. That ‘flutter’ still exists. I still didn’t know who you were. I don’t believe this has ever happened before to me.

And then you shot around the pew that separated us as the congregation stood to form lines to receive the sacrement. I couldn’t help but smile and talk to you. I know it was church and that you are not supposed to talk but your smile made me melt and your eyes mirrored what I felt. It was so cliché that I asked what your name was saying that you look familiar and did we attend high school together?

I felt blood rush to my head and nothing else existed but your smile, your face, your bright shining eyes your and second handshake upon introducing yourself while I introduced myself to you. My nerves exploded.

And we did attend high school together. We were in law class together.

You told me you worked in Alberta at the tar sands and that you had a house on the Old Rothesay Road.

I told you I bought a house over East and that I was an artist. You asked if that was hard and I said “At times” but that I rent rooms too, to supplement my income.

We walked down the length of the pew and joined the moving throngs of Catholics in the central main aisle to receive the sacrement. I wanted to keep talking… I wanted to hold your hand… wanted to scream I like you… wanted to put words to what I was feeling inside.

You had said that you likely wouldn’t be attending the 20th high school reunion but that you might attend the 25th in 2016.

I walked back to the pew after communion and the heat creeping over my body was almost more than I could endure, while kneeling to pray. When I rose to sit you were still kneeling behind me. I could barely breath. The rushes never stopped. Then the congregation rose to sing the processional hymn Silent Night. I’m singing and thinking that I need you! How do I get in touch with you.

When people began to leave the service and began talking amongst each other I turned to you and dug out a business card and gave it to you as you said you weren’t on Facebook. My folk’s were leaving and I had to go with them. I walked slowly from the church and then outside into the frigid Winter air darting my eyes to see if I could catch another glimpse of you. I didn’t see you. My mind wrestless with thoughts. Is he married? Is he single? I can’t believe I dug out a business card in church and gave it to a man.

mandala, markers, fabriano quadrato artist journal, jessica doyle art, drawing, ink, pen

I climbed into the back seat of the car while dad climbed into the front. We waited for mom. Then you walked in front of the car, crossed over and got into the drivers side of a beige pick-up truck, alone and sat there staring across at the headlights of the car I was in. And I stared back at the dark truck you were in. I wanted to jump out and run over to you. All I could do was stare and hope that you’d contact me via my website contact page as there was no phone number listed on the business card that I had given you earlier.

A star from fell from the sky that night after mass while she stood on the backyard deck around midnight.

Christmas Eve came and went.

I drew the pen marker drawing inside a Fabriano Quadrato Artist Journal on the 23rd of December while thinking about skyscrapers and how humans are stacked one on top of the other within them and how it’s better to live on the upper most floors where the street noise is faint and water and sewer pipes are not continuously flowing within the walls.

Joy to the World – a series of vintage Doyle family photos

A long long time ago, well 26 years ago in grade five I was chosen to play the part of Mary for the grade five production of the Nativity during the annual Bayview Elementary School Christmas public assembly. My mom snapped this photo just as I was sitting down in the Nativity chair. It certainly makes my bum look huge.

Every Christmas as a child my brother and I saved each cardboard roll from the inside of Christmas wrapping paper to play games with. In this photo we are playing tetherball using an ornament attached to string with Lady the collie watching us. It was cold outside remember and we needed something to do. And yes, those are Mickey Mouse and Dr. Suess books in the background.

Though it was extremely cold outside Stephen and I did play outside in the snow until our fingers were frost bitten every day. This is us in the backyard. We piled snow to build forts when there were no drifts to use. We slid down mountains over jumps knocking the wind out of us. And when Spring began to hit we built ice and snow damns along the side of the road in a tremendous effort to stop the flow of water from melting snow going down the street while cars and buses rushed by us. We were busy and had no fear.

Oh and I figure skated too.

;)

On the outside looking in

How do you find your way in a world where everything is familiar and long ago thoughts, ideas and beliefs begin to creep into your being once again? Twenty years ago I answered this question by applying to college in another city and upon acceptance of my application moved away as quickly as I could at the age of 19.

I don’t want to do that again, but the idea of doing it continues to pop into my head. My closest in real life friends live a world away offline but online they are right beside me via Skype, email and Facebook. These are people I went to college with or are childhood friends with whom I skipped, walked and played hide and go seek with. I see them once per year or even less at times. I miss them greatly at this time of year.

It’s so difficult moving back to the city you grew up in and making strong connections especially when you live alone, work alone and choose to associate with very few people offline most days due to financial constraints, past wrongs and simply opposing belief systems.

So right now, I’m on the inside looking out the studio window and don’t know where to go, who to talk to or what to do and it’s driving me crazy! I don’t want to teach art classes or be involved in the arts offline. It’s not my domain. Really. I’m an online activist and content creator much more so than an offline one. Or maybe it’s just because I don’t know how to do it? Or I don’t know how to take what’s in my head about working online and put that knowledge down on paper and teach it.

People from various organizations are contacting me to come and speak or teach workshops. I don’t know how to do that. If you want me to do that you need to help me. Push me. Pay me. Really. I don’t know where to begin in trying to navigate the grant system or how to apply for an art gallery opening. You need to set up an actual appointment for me and not leave things so open ended as it’ll be another year or never before I reach a decision. I understand online but not offline.

I find the activist in me is coming out and I’m seeking an organization to join or common interest group and hope that I can find the courage to follow through with that goal before I turn into a peanut. I keep thinking about knitting, sewing and working with fabrics again. I’ve got all the supplies and three sewing machines sitting upstairs waiting to be turned on.

Anyways, life has a way of cycling and repeating itself and it’s not until a decision is made that the loop ends and a new fuller path is presented you.

On the outside looking in is available as a limited edition print on HandmadeCloud.

2nd Annual Open Studio and Art Sale

Poster for open studio and art sale at Jessica Doyle's house!

From 5:00PM to 9:00PM on Thursday, December 9th, I’ll be opening the doors to my home and studio. And as I’m holding this event later this year than I did last year I’ll also be offering 25% OFF your purchase on the day of the sale.

Items for sale include:

Please have a look through my online shops to see many of the items I’ve created by hand over this last year.

My personal shop HandmadeCloud
My Etsy Shop

If you can not make it, because you live far away but would enjoy receiving or giving a piece of art as a gift this year I’ve created a special 25% OFF coupon code to use in one of my shops listed above. This coupon code will expire on midnight, December 9th, 2010.

Oh, and the coupon code is 2010STUDIOSALE and it’s good for 25% OFF your entire purchase. You can also order online and choose to pick your order up in person on the evening of the sale by ordering on HandmadeCloud.

Happy Holidays!
sincerely,
Jessica Doyle and Missy Two Shoes the cat!