People seem to forget that on the other end of the email, convo, comment, message or blog, that there is a REAL human being with feelings. I’ve never encountered more asshattery since opening an account on a dating site in search of that special man.
I’ve been harassed, threatened and chased by men who don’t know their a$$ from their mouth. At one point one man had sent 40 emails in two days demanding to know my real name and where I live all the while professing his love for me stating that we are meant to be together and are soul mates. After a week of this from numerous men I finally located and learned to use the block button.
While, I have met a few nice men on the site who seem to be genuinely looking for a long term relationship I have yet to meet up with one of them in real life and I’m beginning to ask myself why?
I’ve been single since late 2006 and while that in itself has some benefits it doesn’t make for what I want out of life. It does get lonely and it does get frustrating dating man after man after man only to realize one date, two weeks or three months into it that he is an assclown, a player or emotionally unstable or worse still involved or in love with his ex-wife or girlfriend. And this comes back to me… I’m attracting the wrong kind of man which is something I’m deeply concerned about for my own self-esteem and well being. I do not blame the men but myself in this situation.
I don’t beleive in settling and I used to think I wanted certain things from a relationship but I’ve now found myself thinking over the last year(s) and want someone who shares the same morals and values that I do and this doesn’t necessarily mean that we will enjoy the same books, movies or hobbies. Having everything in common certainly makes things very boring after a while.
While I had hoped this dating site would offer an alternative way to meet a man, it’s proving to take much more time away from my real life than I initially thought it would. I’d like to meet a man in real life and as such am taking a break and may eventually delete my account to explore the city on it’s own terms or use the site in conjunction with real life. I need to trust my instincts and take the initiative and immediately delete and block the men who want nothing more than a shoulder to lean or to get me into bed so that I can read the emails from the men who have taken the time to actually write more than “how are you” or “You are beautiful” or “Wanna chat sweetie”.
Online dating has worked out very well for some of my friends and family but for me it seems I have to wage war against crude and significant amounts of men who have chips on their desperate shoulders who are parading around impersonating themselves with stolen pictures and false or insignificant profiles. These men are drowning out the real good guys, ’cause good guys… I know you do exist out there.
Have you ever used an online dating site and what were your experiences with it?