Â© Jessica Doyle 2006
As a comparison and to illustrate how a simple, well advanced piece of software can change the look and feel of a drawing you drew I did one myself. This would have to be one way I truly enjoy manipulating my ink drawings by adding colour to them in photoshop. I used the previously posted Emotion 04 as an example. It has a nice dreamlike, organic ocean coral feeling ebbing from it now. The original, though dreamy, is stark in comparison. The “C” and “BW” stand for colour and Black & White respectively. What to you think?
Emotions 04C manipulation, Jessica Doyle Â©2006
Emotions 04BW scan, Jessica Doyle Â©2006
9″ by 11″, pen & ink on acid free paper, Jessica Doyle Â©2006
This is by far the largest piece of code I’ve chosen to install on my site. I’m learning a lot from reading both the WordPress and Lazyest Gallery forums. Whoah though I’m flaberGASTED! I realized that when I download, whether it be themes or plugins, sometimes during the download all the dashes would convert to freakin’ underscores in the name of the folder being downloaded. This could be why many of the themes I’ve chosen and uploaded, activated then deleted repeatedly did not work. This does not happen consistantly so I must be aware at all times. I’ve managed to get the Admin page of Lazyest Gallery to show up now under my options panel in my WordPress adminstration online. However, my gallery points to nowhere land in cyberspace. You can click “art gallery testing” at the top beside my resumÃ©. It is there but it’s not there, and I don’t understand how to get it there. Doh. This is when I wish I could plug my brain into the Matrix, download the necessary programming knowledge and complete this task.
It’s time to call my friend Joshua and complete the barter proposal we spoke of; I draw a picture for him and he writes some code for me.
Grey is sometimes difficult to think of within oneself. Grey is the so-called Happy Medium when all is ok. Grey is a shade mixed using black and white theoretically. Black is the absence of colour where white contains the full spectrum of all colour. Once in grade three my dad helped me build a motorized colour wheel. I painted on paper the primary colours of red, blue and yellow and also the secondary colours or purple, green and orange in their respective places. I attached this piece of paper to the metal disk with glue. I painted the box, the disk was atached too, black. I flicked the switch and voilÃ¡ it began to spin faster and faster, the triangular colours disapearing until only white appeared. I, was fascinated.
Colour is underated sometimes. I sometimes actually fear to wear colour, as to not stand out in a crowd. Walking down the street if you look here in Vancouver people of all ages and colours wear most the colour black. Why is that? Could it be they are afraid also of wearing colour? If the theory holds true and black is the absence of colour, perhaps deep deep down they know!
Ironically, 6 years ago when I was co-owner of By the Light of the Moon Productions (see resumÃ©), Melanie and myself discovered that not all black fabric is created equally. All the black we bleached to create patterns on was intitially dyed with a colour based black fabric dye. Be it green, pink, blue or yellow we didn’t find a black fabric that upon bleaching did not leave patterned shades of grey behind. This process of dying cloth is actually a reverse process of removing dye from already coloured fabric using bleach called shibori. It is a kind of reverse Tye Dye. The process of Tie Dying involves rolling, bunching or shaping your fabric with elastics or string and then dropping it into a vat of dye. Shibori uses this same process except it is a vat of bleach.
Wow – where did this come from? Click here for colour fun! I have not thought of nor painted or dyed fabric in quite some time. And to have it come to mind tonight has rather fascinated me to use that word again. I had begun this post with the intention of writing about feeling of opposite but equal power such as love to hate or crazy to dull.
Back to fabric. I have some silk dye and resist tucked away in the closet. Maybe it’s time to dig it out. Hmmm, I could also use it for batik. That would require the purchase of some paraffin and beeswax. You heat equal amounts of each wax into plug in pot or old fryer to keep it at an even temperature. Using Chinese bamboo brushes dip into the hot wax and paint on your fabric. This wax will dry rather quickly. You should be using 100% natural cotten, linen or hemp fabric for the dye to set. Anyhow the lines you draw with the wax will create a barrier that the dye cannot be absorbed into.
NOTE to SELF
I will come back to this. I’d like to write up some quick and easy tutorials to have and to share with you. I’ll upload some pics also. It’s almost 2AM in the morning.
It never ceases to amaze me that I’m most creative in the peace of night. Maybe it’s the shades of coloured greys that calm my mind.
12 minutes after 12. Missy snores in her basket squeaking, her fuzzy little kitty paw hanging out. She is adorable.
Dee last night messaged me – writing he had a surprise for me.
Tonight the surprise called and later walked through my apartment door. Lala’s in town and gone the saddened frown of not understanding the distance separating us spiritually. Sorries were said and hurts explained. I listened. My eyes glistened. I did not know then what I understand now.
I love you Dee and Lala!
This one’s for you! Created with 600 or so stills… and music composition by me also.
ps – it’s 5.5mb – be patient
There lives fear everywhere. It’s installed in us when we each are born. This installation learns. In it’s truest and earliest form, fear was an instinct. An instinct such as hunger, and the need for warmth when it was cold; fear kept you safe. Fear is no longer fear. It is Phobic.
I need to think on this longer. I’ll post more later today.
I thought on this longer and became more phobic. Fuck. Now at 20 minutes to midnight I can say I feel calmer. Where did the phobia begin today? Yesterday. And Yesterday’s fear was carried over from the day before’s fear. So now that this fear has been cubed and diced where does that leave me? Laughing. Phobic fear is just that – phobia. It is irrational in most peoples eyes. However, when experiencing phobia one can become quite disabled.
I could not function today. I woke up this morning screaming out loud from a lucid nightmare. It’s not often that I’ve screamed myself awake. Today I did. And yesterday for that matter I had another disturbing dream. These dreams are so vivid and lucid. I’ve not yet manged to completely control them. The dreams I’ve been having since cleaning up 203 days ago have been all consuming at times involving people, places and experiences from my present and past. Inter tangled enlightenment’s of the soul perhaps? There are messages my subconscious is attempting to make conscious to me. This could be called the link between the soul and the body. The drawing to the left I drew after one such dream. I had been hit in the head by an usher at a wedding with a green stop sign in the dream, as I began to walk down the isle as a bridesmaid without bouquet in hand.
When the two (soul & mind) work as one, a person is in the ‘NOW’. There is no past, nor future, just the moment, he or she is experiencing. Having experienced these moments of complete clarity with and without drugs, I must say they are both beautiful and unexplainable in words. I have attempted to draw and paint them. However as soon as I would think – POOF – the moment is gone and I’m in the past or the future again.
The past is to depression what the future is to anxiety. The best way to know something is to experience it. Once your brain experiences it, whatever it may be; the brain will remember that experience with the emotions you felt during that experience. The brain doesn’t know the difference between past and future. When you get up in the morning say, and drink your coffee you probably associate waking up and being more alert with the coffee. Your mind is craving that feeling not the coffee. It’s a hard one to wrap your head around eh?
Now to take it a step further… When someone becomes addicted to a feeling what happens?
Their brain pretty much short circuits and rewires itself in such a way, that it needs the feeling or it will go into withdrawal. The extent of withdrawal would be dependent upon how much the brain needed the feeling to feel normal. Most addicts would say that they don’t get high anymore, that they are in fact just maintaining a normal so they don’t go into withdrawal. The ‘high’ has become normal. And when the normal cannot be achieved the brain along with the physical body begins to go down, down, down to what the average person would call normal. Are you still with me? So picture your worst, sickest, saddest and angriest day ever and multiply it by lets say 10. That is what real “normal” feels like to an addict when they withdraw from a substance.
After withdrawal all that the brain knows is raw emotion. Happiness times 10. Sadness times 10. Anger times 10. Fear times 10. Disgust times 10. You feel every emotion times 10. Your senses are heightened beyond what you ever thought possible. Light hurts your eyes. Traffic noise hurts. Advertisements sicken you. Colour stands out. A hair tickles your back and you jump! Bad memories cloud your mind like they happened today. They feel like they are happening right now.
But beautiful little things begin to happen gradually. I remember looking down at my paintbrush about 10 days into detox and just watching the water drip off the tip off the paintbrush into the rinse can. The sound fascinated me. Somehow my brain had blocked out all the other noise and distraction and all I heard and saw was the drip. I cried. I was happy. This was a moment with no past nor future.
I would recommend to anyone in search of understanding rent the movie What the Bleep? and also check outDr. Masaru Emoto’s website! The research he has done with water in how it affects every one of us in relation to our emotions is brilliant. We are, remember 90% water.
The days I watched these three movies will be forever with me. My brain I hope will remember the feelings generated by their visual, auditory gift. Drinking a glass of water has never been the same after seeing Dr. Masaru Emoto’s video.
You know, fear is the exact same as excitement. I’m terrified on a roller coaster where another person is excited beyond belief.
Over the next couple of weeks I’ll being creating much of the background design for my site. Having been sidetracked and thus overwhelmed by the immensity of this task, I have decided by far, I Jessica Doyle am not a master programmer nor coder. I understand the basics, like in arythmatic that 1+1=2. The weight has lifted! I have decided to barter or subcontract any and/or all programming/coding I cannot resolve myself within a reasonable amount of time in hopes of creating a network between said person or company. Perhaps in return they will barter or subcontract work to me. Currently I am in negotiation with a company. I’ll keep you all posted.
I’m also on the hunt for a Fine Art Representative to sell or license my art and illustration to galleries, greeting card or stock illustration companies to name a few.
With all that said. This is what I’m good at!
• Colour & Typography
• Painting, Drawing & Illustration by hand or digitally
• Filmmaking & editing
• Print or Package Design including magazines, biz cards, brochures
• Design Consultation
• Creative & Art Direction
• Image restoration, cropping & colour correction for web or print design
…and this is what I’ll be doing over the next month.
UPDATE (OCT – 2007) “This” will be ongoing for the rest of my life.
• Design website (www.jessicadoyle.ca) in Photoshop
• Implement Google Adsense, Amazon Books, Affiliates, RSS’s into the website design
• Pick an image viewer to integrate into WordPress (Coppermine, Zenphoto or WPG2)
• Make sure film footage can be uploaded in the programming part
• Have said website coded into a theme for WordPress along with any needed plugins & upgrades
• Upload visual, written & moving stimuli
• Begin contacting galleries, potential employers & advertisers
• Create, write, design & film in peace
• Barter or subcontract extensive programming & coding (i.e PHP, Java, etc…)
• Begin search for rep
*The above vector illustration was rendered in Adobe Illustrator by Jessica Doyle.