Category Archives: funny

A tiger and one yawning mouse – childhood drawings from 1984

childhood drawings of Jessica Doyle from 1984 - one tiger and one yawning mouse

If you are an artist you’ve likely been drawing since you were very young in age. These are two of my ink drawings from 1984. I would have been 11 years old when I drew both of these on pretty pink and yellow papers with a blue Bic pen. Continue reading

One flying scoop of melting ice cream

flying ice cream doodle drawing by artist jessica doyle - weird oddity

What began as a simple jellyfish doodle morbidly turned into one flying scoop of melted ice cream.

I can just imagine what made it take off into the air… a childhood temper tantrum during the heat of the summertime, an adult who tripped over the curb after leaving the ice cream vendor stand or maybe just maybe this one sole scoop of ice cream is intelligent and decided it did not want to be licked or eaten, digested and 12 hours later flushed down a toilet into a sewer system built 1000 years ago.

But we’ll never know for sure as this singular scoop of enchanted ice cream has likely left earth’s stratosphere by now in search of it’s own kind.

Drawn with Faber Castell Pitt Artist pens and Derwent & Prismacolor coloured pencils on Strathmore Petal Inclusion paper. This oddity measures 5×7 inches (12,6cm by 17,5cm).

A New Brunswick Diary

Dear Diary,

Aug 12 – Moved to our new home in New Brunswick. It is so beautiful here. The northern woods are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see snow. I love it here.

Oct 14 – New Brunswick is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned colors – shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the country and saw some deer. They are so graceful…certainly they are the most beautiful animal on earth. I really love it here.

Nov 11 – Deer season will start soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. What a beautiful place.

Dec 12 – Snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard! We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and when the snow plow came by, we got to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place – I love New Brunswick.

Dec 14 – More snow last night. I love it. The snow plow did his trick to the driveway again. It’s so great here.

Dec19 – More snow last night. Couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snow plow.

Dec 22 – More of that white shit fell last night. I have blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides around the corner and waits until I’m done shoveling the driveway. ASSHOLE!

Dec 25 – Merry Fucking Christmas! More friggen snow. If I ever get my hands on that son‐of‐a‐bitch who drives that snow plow, I swear I’ll kill the bastard. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the road to melt the bloody ice?

Dec 27 – More white shit last night. Been inside for 3 days – except for shoveling the driveway after that snow plow goes through. Can’t go anywhere – the cars stuck in a mountain of the white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10” of this crap again tonight. Do you know how many shovels of snow 10″ is?

Dec 28 – The fucking weatherman was wrong. We got 34” of that white shit this time. At this rate, it won’t melt before next summer. The snow plow got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already shoveling all the shit he pushed into the driveway. I broke my last shovel over his bloody head.

Jan 4 – Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a damned deer ran in front of my car and I hit it. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed all of them last November.

May 3 – Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out from all the fucking salt they put all over the road?

May 10 – Moved to Georgia. I can’t imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that God‐forsaken province of NEW BRUNSWICK.

author unknown…

My Dad handed this joke to me last night, typed on three worn sheets of paper. After reading it I couldn’t help but publish it to the blog! Haha! I did find many other adaptations of this joke that take place in other northern US and Canadian locals but could not find the original author of this joke. The photo above is the front of my house… enough said…

The intelligence of machines during a recession

On Boxing Day evening I headed uptown with Karen to share a drink at Happinez before going dancing at one of the local clubs where we were to meet up with Lisa and Jilian.

We began walking down King Street so that I could stop at my branch’s bank machine to avoid banking fees to withdraw cash for the evening’s festivities. I placed my bank card in the ATM like I’ve done thousands of times, punched in that I wanted $80 and promptly took my card and left the bank lobby closing the door behind me.

Standing outside the bank’s doors I realized I was only putting into my wallet a bank card and no cash or receipt. I stared in through the door’s windows and saw my $80 still sitting in the dispensing slot! I again dug out my bank card to swipe to get back into blasted banking machine lobby and ran to grab my money. My hands were but inches from that money and the machine sucked it back in! Karen laughed. I did not laugh.

I still do not have that $80 and the bank is closed today.

I’ve got the receipt and I’m sure the security camera caught the stupidity on tape!

The photo is of the Christmas lights I hung in the sun room with a reflection of living room in the door.

Missy Two Shoes can haz Christmas

It’s so funny how cats can and do create little nests for themselves anywhere and everywhere. And come Christmas time when the boxes and bags of decorations come out they will indeed find happiness within the gold, red and green decorations.

Oddly enough she let me tie a bow around her neck and didn’t even try to take it off. I did remove the bow before turning in for bed yesterday as I was worried she would hang herself or something… if it got caught on a something you know…

And yes she has regained the use of blinking her right eye after that nasty cat punctured her head. Thus far that muti-coloured feline has not turned up on the backyard deck again.

Hand painting Christmas balls or is it really about sex?

Each year, well almost every year I sit down and paint Christmas balls for gift giving as I finally did finish setting up that area in the living room to paint at earlier this week. I needed an area that could remain creatively messy. Thus far I’ve painted four Christmas balls and sadly have run out of Varathane to top coat them with. I’ll need to make a run to the hardware store this weekend. Yes, I use hardwood floor varnish on any piece that I paint with acrylic.

I think painting is like riding a bike. You really don’t forget how to do it but it does take about four balls to get back into the groove of making those itsy bitsy paint strokes. I use Kroma Artist Quality Acrylic made on Granville Island in Vancouver and you can only buy it there to. It’s a wonderful milky acrylic and heavily pigmented for a brilliant colour and a smooth finish.

These are some finished balls I’ve painted from years gone by that I’ve kept for myself. I think I’ve painted close to 150 different balls that family and friends now have and decorate their trees with.

And this just made me laugh to much not to post this here on the blog!

If you’d like to add me as a friend on facebook. Feel free to do so! It gets quite lively over there at times! Haha!

You have to see the teeth to blow out the candles!

Saturday night I held a gathering and potluck at my house to celebrate my 36th Birthday with close friends and family. About 15 people came. Later that same night when five of us remained we began playing on the iMac using iSight to record ourselves. Ha!

Thanks everyone who came over to celebrate with me! xoxo

And thanks everyone for the wonderful gifts! I think every second person brought me a flowering plant to put in the sunroom. I had a wonderful time :)

PS – if you have pictures from that night please email them to me.