Category Archives: grey

Spring Pussy Willows no.2 in Remembrance of My Great Aunt Theresa Moore

I feel as grey and calm today as the weather dripping from the sky outside.

My Great Aunt Theresa passed away yesterday. Theresa was like a grandmother to me. And She was like a Mom to my Dad and his four siblings after my Dad’s Mom passed away when he was five. His father never remarried and Theresa became the surogate Mom to his five children along with raising her own four children. She was a generous and beautiful woman.

When someone dies you can never tell how you will react or when the tears will flow or even if they’ll come at all. They came in waves for me after the phone call from my dad early yesterday afternoon. I sat on deck and simply cried.

Tonight will be difficult and filled with emotion but it will be happy at the same time to see my family, some of whom are traveling from very far away to attend the funeral. The last time we gathered on my Dad’s side of the family was for my cousin Marc’s wedding which was only one month ago.
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George deserves a proper introduction

This is George.

George the pretty fish by artist Jessica Doyle

He was created with ink on flecked grey and taupe Ingris paper. The original drawing measures 5×7 inches / 17,7cm by 12,6cm.

He’s the pretty fish who swims the sea’s with Milton, spotted Eddie, Francis, Annabelle and Emily.

And he’s got a great tail!

George's pretty fish tail by artist Jessica Doyle

George is available in three sizes:

• Mini George ACEO Limited Edition (2.5 x 3.5 inch / 6,4cm by 8,9cm)
• Small George as a 5 x 7 inch print (17,7cm by 12,6cm)
• Big George as a 8.5 x 11 inch print (27,9cm by 21,6cm)

Framing and Matting is also available in the shop :)

Hope you like him!
xo

Bloody nose or why I was in a fight yesterday…

…with dust.

Upon waking my nose ran away and my eyes cried as I climbed out of bed at 8:30AM and trotted for the bathroom. I grabbed a tissue and began blowing blood. My poor sinuses went through hell yesterday while I was at Value Village; a local second hand chain perusing then trying on clothing.

In the midst of pulling a grey cardigan over my head my eyes swelled, nose began leaking water and my throat began to close. I began sneezing uncontrollably, unable to catch my breath. It was the worst allergy attack I suffered through in a long time. I climbed out of the sweater put my own clothing back on, left the fitting room and handed the culprit to Lisa. We walked to check-out and I paid for that damn sweater because it was the only that fit out of the 20 I tried on. The woman ringing me through told me they allow patrons to bring their pets in! Geebus! It’s not so much dogs and cats that freak me out but dust, chemical detergents, pollens and scents.

Add to that I started my period and was already cramping more than normal. I told Lisa I’ll see you outside as her and Gillian were still shopping and pushed the doors open and prayed I had more kleenex in my purse. The sneezing dissipated as did the whole body shaking while I breathed in fresh air. I knew a simple laundering of that grey sweater would clear up any allergen in it.

They dropped me off at home and I ingested a half of a pink tablet of diphenhydramine-hydrochloride. I felt a bit better but could not breath through my nose and my stomach was bloating something awful.

Over the last 6 weeks I have ingested more allergy meds than I care to count and they are simply not working.

I cooked supper for Lisa and Gillian who were making their way back into town for a birthday party we were attending. We ate, shared a coupe of glasses of wine and I stayed home and went to bed with a hot pack on my belly.

The three of us went for breakfast today then out to their place. They have four dogs. I went absolutely berzerk. I love animals. BUT after a reaction like I had yesterday have to be careful and didn’t have antihistamine with me. They had some and offered me one. A Reactine. I was always leary of taking non-drowsy allergy meds due to the fact that they make me bounce.

I took it on the way out the door when they were driving me home and I CAN BREATH through my nose for the first time in 6 weeks!

I feel like a human being right now. I took it at 2:00PM and it’s going on 9:00PM and I CAN BREATH. My sinuses are open and I almost cried hallelujah an hour ago because I have been feeling shitty for weeks.

Allergies make you feel anxious and scared to do things you would normally do. I think my gut, period, intestines etc have been feeling crappy due to the fact that I was a walking ticking time bomb waiting to explode and boy did it happen at Value Village yesterday.

My new best friend is Reactine.

Photo credit – my new grey sweater on my light grey duvet cover

Rain – 21.03.2007

Sun - EastVanEsica - 2007 - Gel pen on acid free black paper.Oh how I wish for the rain to cease. Why not rain, one day like crazy. Thunderclaps and lightening. Throw it down anyway you wish. Then, let us see the sunshine for a full two days. :) Two days, maybe three? OMG could you imagine if the sun came out for three days in a row?

This grey (gray) is messing with me. It is the same grey (gray) day in day out. Grey. How many shades of grey (gray) exist? Perhaps millions? A quadrillion!

In Vancouver we get one shade of grey (gray) and it is called rain. Rain, rain and more rain.

The sun breeched cloud cover two days ago though. So bright. So cheery. Then it went away. And won’t be back again, for another four days. rain. Rain. RAIN! Go away. Come again some other day.

Related – Rain from 15.11.2006.

Please respond to the following questions?

As human beings do we change over time? Do our inner most souls evolve into something newer sleeker or for that matter slowly rot away into nothingness? Well, I hope not into nothingness yet one never knows what could happen and there is no sense worrying about because there are people in this world who worry enough for the whole world yet are powerless to change it because, it is worry and worry just does not fix a God Damn thing.

Jessica - looking up.So I have some questions. These questions I will ask to everyone who reads my site. Everyone is welcome to answer but only through leaving a comment online. Please don’t send me an email. This site in NOT private. I have nothing to hide. All I want is some help in gaining an understanding of who I am – both the good and the bad. I feel like my life is cycling right now. I don’t want to pedal anymore. I’m asking you all for help please? You can post your comment anonymously if you like and copy and paste the following questions into the comment box. Your comment will come into moderation and I’ll put it live.

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Replaced Memories

The clouds lay low on the city today. Their reach covering mountain peaks hundreds of feet climbing into the sky. No tears escape their misty home joining, falling to earth.

My ex-husband occupies my thoughts for brief intense seconds. A memory comes to light then turns a shade of grey. Many years we lived and studied together; almost a third of my life was spent with this man. My love for him is not spoken out loud but remains in memory. It is not possible for humans to turn love off or on. The feeling is always there… it fades over the years lessening in intensity because it is a memory and not part of our daily lives. That same holds true for the love of my grandfather (Papa) who passed away 20 years ago. Both these people I interacted with for an extended amount of time; years long. One is still physically living and the other has passed way but they both still live in my memory.

Love can however switch to another emotion instantly for some people I strongly believe. It is white one moment and black the next. When you receive news that a loved one is ill or has died your love for them instantly changes. You still love them, however the emotion of love could be infected with grief or anger and manifest itself physically through tears or rage. It is also possible for the memory of a such an event to physically cause a change in your mood and stature.

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