Category Archives: Health

The colour of health and how I forgot to publish this yesterday.

Ever feel the fog lifting? Have you ever witnessed the fog lift in the evening just as the sun is setting? The colours are most awesome; the oranges, scarlets and violets.

A friend said to me today “The fog has lifted for you eh? And yes, I suppose it has.”

This past Thursday I got a clean bill of physical health from my doctor. This is the first time that that has been so in more than a decade. I finished the Paxil taper on the following day, Friday. A little over a week has passed since.

The side effects of tapering have diminished significantly. I have an appointment with a Mental Health Professional this coming Tuesday to take care of any loose ends and brain blips. Other than that I’m all good. It’s all good. Good. Great.

My weight is stable. I’ve lost 26 pounds over this past year. I wear a size 6 to 8 comfortably at 5 foot 5. If I put on 5 pounds I’m considered overweight by the standard BMI charts and that fact is ridiculous.

The wiegh in – the Diet

The past few weeks have been wonderfully full of excercise. I went to the beach twice in the past three days. One to Sasamat Lake and once down the 400 stairs to Wreck Beach and then back up 400 stairs. Since the weather has taken a turn for the better here in Vancouver I have in turn been excercising more. I have been working in my garden an average of 45 minutes upto two hours a day. I have been hula hooping every second day for 45 minutes. I have gone swimming twice and have been walking everywhere. While out on my deck I began doing leg lifts, crunches and situps. My stomach was so sore the following day. It has since healed đŸ˜‰

The summer has a way of infecting weCanadians with bliss. We spend six monthes of the year in winter. When those rays start to shine we start to wine, dine and bare it all. I wonder if the summer has such a signicant effect on people living in other countries and climates? Eric and I have decided that we will be heading south for a few weeks during the 12 week grey rainy season here in Vancouver. He has been researching the country of Belize and also Mexico.

Now onto the nitty gritty measurments.

bust = 38 – down from 39 inches
waist = 32.5 – down from 33 inches
hips = 41.5 – down from 42 inches

Woot! I am proud of myself. This makes me feel very good. I wasn’t expecting a change when I measured but the numbers don’t lie. I do not have a scale therefore I am unable to post my weightloss progress ( will be able to next week though after a visit to the doctor). Take a look at everyone else’s progress here. Most of all I feel re-connected with mother earth through swimming in her oceans, feeling warmth on my back and getting dirty in garden only to do it all over again the next day. Well, tomorrow I have some contract work to complete… maybe Wednesday…

My Computer has Tinnitus

Tinnitus has to be up there as being ranked one of the most annoying non lethal afflictions to affect human beings. When all is silent there is but one little screachy sound within your being and it is aptly named tinnitus. It’s kind of like the sound of scratching fungernails running across a chalkboard except quieter and higher pitched. It is also reminiscent of the sound I would hear while trying to fall asleep after clubbing. Someone told me long ago that that sound was the sound of a dieing note from your hearing. Whether that is true or not I began to wear earplugs sometimes when out dancing to soften the sound of deafening beats. Loud music does damage the eardrum but whether the sound you are hearing is a pitch you will never hear again?

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Tomorrow’s Weight

I did it.

As many of you know I’ve been battling a sort of Pepsi addiction over the past few monthes. It has got to a point where I am drinking upwards of 12 plus cans a day. Today, however marks the first day I have not had any Pepsi. I have a feeling just cutting out the soda pop will have a positive effect on my waistline.

I joined a list of dieters this evening after getting back from my walk. Tomorrow I will be posting my weight, height, BMI and yes the dreaded measurements. What better way to lose weight than go public with it. Every week on Tuesday everyone involved will be posting their progress and tips on their respective websites. Even if you are not looking to lose weight but would like to support us please join the list. You can also read Colin D. Devroe’s original post on the Diet!

Good luck to everyone!

Cans Spinach Baby

PopyePopeye the Sailorman sqeezed [tag]spinach[/tag] out of cans into his mouth swallowing the green processed goo. He had a Girlfriend named Olive Oyle and together they had a baby named Sweat Pea. Much of Popeye is Public Domain now.

It is rather odd that yesterday the words cans, spinach and baby could describe my day. Theses three words bring back fond memories of watching Robin Williams acting as Popeye and Shelly Duvall respectively as Olive Oyle in the 1980 Paramount Pictures and Walt Disney Production of Popeye. 26 years ago – Whoah. I watched it on TV so I must have seen it closer to 1986.

My friend Tomoko drove in from Port Kells to help me bring back four jumbo sized garbage bags of recyclables to the local redemption centre. Ninety percent of the content within these bags were cans of none other than my favourite soda pop, Pepsi. To make things worse the number of [tag]Pepsi[/tag] cans totaled 666. I am taking this as an omen to cut the Pepsi from my diet for good. All this addiction has done for me is add 30lbs to my body in three monthes. All in all I recieved $42.85 total by taking the cans and bottles back – not too bad.

Spinach is good for you. As a child I believe I actually liked cooked spinach however to due fussiness or influence of popular culture I pretended I didn’t like it. Out on the deck Eric and I have planted spinach this year – we both love it cooked or uncooked and it’s grows like a weed even in a plastic container. Tomoko had also planted spinach in her garden. I had leftover from my planting and gave it to her.

We drove out to her house from East Vancouver and began working in her garden planting spinach and separating potted plants she had bought to put in the ground. How fun it is to get your hands and feet dirty! And what a treat to be outside of the city in the sun listening to nothing but tweeting birds, mooing cows and her dog barking at the goats, planting spinach.

What makes a [tag]baby[/tag] but sperm and an ovum. Tomoko is seven weeks [tag]pregnant[/tag]. I was like wow! I was wondering on the drive out why she was asking if I still plan not to take drugs and her telling me she had cut down on how much she smoked to only a few puffs a day. It didn’t kick in until she told me about the pregnancy.

This makes number two for new pregnancies in my circle. Just last week on Mothers Day Eric’s brother announced that his girlfriend is one month pregnant. I’m gonna be an auntie.

So this leaves me with a thought; can I concieve?

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257 Days – Get out of here!

“Get out of here” Eric said to our friend just two hours ago. I had been in the shower and was changing in the bedroom when the those words were spoken. It’s now about quarter past midnight. Eric had picked him up and placed him outside our apartment door saying “Leave in three seconds or I will call the police.”

I’m a little shook up about what has transpired. John (not his real name) called one week ago asking if he could come and crash here for a bit. He showed up at the door with a six pack of beer wearing the same clothes he had been wearing for five days he told us. He was high and drunk. He had been fired from his job. He was talking in riddles only he understood. He had no where to go having left his parents place five days earlier, travelling into the city where he partied for five days. The night went ok. He came down and fell asleep on the couch. Eric and I retired also.

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If anything

Sometime in late January 2005 I wrote in my journal:

“so if anything
I have discovered
that I am breakable”

Even in the midst of full blown addiction one knows it can’t last forever; it evolves, fades away to memory or dies. I re-read my journal tonight written between September 2004 to January 2005. I never allowed myself to come up for air. Brief moments of clarity were shrouded in misery. I broke myself in two. I even know when the tear began. February 2004 to August 2005 may rest in peace now – I bid you adieu. For anyone trying to comprehend the “why” of addiction; only has to understand the human condition.

Artists Riddle

Having recently begun uploading images to Terminus1525 after a one year hiatus from the site, I realized over the past few days that I crave interaction of the virtual kind. Any artist I believe wants attention to their work… deep down inside I you know you do; even just to see your number of views on a certain piece or stats on your webpage go up.

Last week I asked a question in a forum. I recieved an answer. The solution worked. I smiled. I replied thank you. This week I commented on various artists works. I was scared. I did it because I wanted to. I needed to. I know how it feels to recieve a compliment, insight or criticism on a piece of artwork, poem or article. The only thing I feared was fear itself. I was honest in my postings and when commenting or asking. Through honesty one achieves insight and truth.

In the past though, I would slug off comments whether good or bad. I didn’t quite know how to digest them or further more actually respond to them. Fear of the unkown persisted within my being for quite some time. I coped the best I could, alone. I drew. I painted. I pulled my hair out. I scratched at my skin. I wrote. I talked too much or not at all.

Sitting here sober (231 days) writing this, clear in mind, is a foreign concept to me. Grasping it, holding onto it tightly, I would in the past so much so that I became addicted to the feeling of calm. Anything and everything existed spiraling around in my mind. Ideas came and went. If, by chance I happened to grab one I choked it out the best I could. What a riddle my mind had become.

Could it be the meds? Could it be I’m growing up? Could it be acceptance that there are many possible solutions to an idea? It could be the web is a place where I exist amongst a million others. It does not replace physical human interaction. It offers another form of virtual interaction. There is an immediacy to the web.

The web has opened a unique portal in the human landscape. Through the sharing of ideas, though different or similar, the human race will endure this new riddle.