Category Archives: insight

Loneliness – The Burden of Artists

The Lonesome Road of Artists

Don’t get me wrong — Being a self-employed artist is absolutely the most rewarding and fascinating journey I have ever undertaken. It lights my soul on fire and makes me happier than I ever thought possible. I feel empowered and capable. I absolutely love getting up every morning. I adore my job.

That doesn’t make it any less lonely though.

I’m not talking about the hermit-like lifestyle I lead all day, every day, in order to get work done. I’m talking about the absence of true connection with other people who don’t pursue goals in the same manner.

I’ve met many people who work 9-to-5’s and generally assume that I work very little, and that my daily life consists of TV, napping, and leisure. Somehow, amidst this life of endless stasis, my artwork, marketing, and writings burst forth into the universe simply because I think them into existence.

Whenever I achieve something I’ve been working towards, someone inevitably comments about how “lucky” I am. Ha. Continue reading

The 20 Year Reunion Part 1 – the fear of violence

About six months ago the anxiety surfaced after someone added me to a newly created Facebook group for the 1991 St. Malachy’s High School Graduating Class 20 Year Reunion. Fear ebbed through my body when it happened.

While high school was everything everybody always says it is, it’s not always what people see that is important but that of what people don’t know that comes to light and must be dealt with in an honest, empathetic and forgiving manner.

The first taste of physical violence I ever experienced as a female being targeted by a male was in grade three. A good female friend of mine, who is still a good friend of mine to this day, had a fight with me, well a fight as best as two nine year old girls can have at yelling and pulling each others hair on a front lawn. Kids fight. Good friends fight. BUT her older brother came out the front door. He was 13 years old and twice my size. He kicked me in the legs. He kicked me really hard and proceeded to harass and maim me all through elementary and middle school whenever he saw me walking on the sidewalk alone. He’d surround, throw rocks and worked very hard at intimidating me for years.

Violence from that day forward seemed to follow and engulf me. It wasn’t until I moved away from Saint John at age 19 that the violence that men cast on me ceased to exist which brings me to the 20 year reunion that I attended on Saturday night. Continue reading

Someday soon the word WAR will only be known to humans as the title of a nursery rhyme

chickens - nursery rhyme about war - illustration

And so it goes…

War

One day, not too long ago
Wars raged around the world
against oppression, against drugs and against the freedom of expression
Dictators, deceitful governments and corporations ruled the world
They devastated ecosystems and annihilated whole segments of citizens and animals
in the name of power and monetary wealth

In late 2008 social networks gained mainstream traction
and the world for the first time in history could talk, organize and protest together
The battle was vicious and bloody in many sectors of the world
Power shifted rapidly
Censored information demanded to be free
Governments could not keep up with the demands of the people
and the last of the corrupt regimes and organizations were toppled on December 21, 2012

The newly formed democracies declared world peace
The Army traded in their guns
and joined forces with the Police
to lessen hostility
and spread compassion and truth for the people to the people

Social networks flourished
and with the aid of advanced browser integrated online language translators
allowed for the first time in history, humans to realize how precious, unique, vulnerable and the same, we all are.

We were no longer afraid.

The illustration began as a drawing for a client but soon took on a life of it’s own as I’m no longer accepting custom work. Fine art prints of this illustration will be available soon. I’ve been unable to decide if it’s done or not so it remains taped to a masonite board.

artist jessica doyle's studio - painting table - art supplies

If you haven’t been following the recent events unfolding in Egypt, you should be! I’ve been regularly updating my personal Facebook page and Twitter with information on the protests that I find online.

Some great resources:

About me – a list of 130 things

Jessica Doyle

To compliment the 130 things about the man I want in my life,

  1. I am creatively particular.
  2. I prefer Mac to PC.
  3. I am more anxious than depressed.
  4. I am hopeful.
  5. I am lead by emotion.
  6. I can see the other side.
  7. I am allergic to scented products and some pollens.
  8. I am severely allergic to dust.
  9. I take antihistamine a lot from April to May and again from August to October.
  10. I beleive in natural remedies but do not discount modern Western style medicine.
  11. I am small breasted.
  12. I have strong shapely legs.
  13. I don’t mind getting messy.
  14. I like doing dishes.
  15. I love growing food.
  16. I may have hypothryroidism (waiting on the second round of blood tests).
  17. I weigh 128lbs to 135lbs.
  18. I am 5’5″.
  19. I spend more on art supplies than I do on clothing in a year’s time.
  20. I use those art supplies daily.
  21. I prefer cats to dogs.
  22. I can not eat fast food.
  23. I will try anything twice.
  24. I had Chron’s disease in my mid-twenties.
  25. I have a long 9″ scar on my stomach from Chron’s surgery.
  26. I have been in remission ever since the surgery, 13 years and counting.
  27. I believe in mind over matter.
  28. I believe in love.
  29. I have had my heart broken more than once.
  30. I have blue-green eyes that turn grey when I’m sad.
  31. I was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type at age 33.
  32. I do not take anything for it.
  33. I changed my lifestyle drastically at age 32.
  34. I do not work at a regular 9 to 5 job.
  35. I divorced at age 29.
  36. I do not have children but am open to the idea of having one or two.
  37. I have lived in three different cities.
  38. I pay attention to detail.
  39. I get hung up on the detail.
  40. I bounce from one thing to another.
  41. I have trouble grounding myself.
  42. I turned 37 today.
  43. I am a smoker who wants to quit and is finding it difficult.
  44. I do not smoke inside.
  45. I struggle at times to earn enough money and at other times earn more than enough.
  46. I own my own home.
  47. I own a 2000 Toyota Corola LE that only has 94,000 clicks on it.
  48. I walk on my tip toes sometimes, especially in bare feet.
  49. I love the ocean.
  50. I like trees.
  51. I love walking anywhere.
  52. I have mild trichotilomania.
  53. I take a size 4 to 8 or XS to M depending on the clothing manufacturer.
  54. I hate malls.
  55. I like to touch nipples and hairy chests on men.
  56. I love my family and close friends.
  57. I am secretive.
  58. I know how to mow the lawn and shovel snow.
  59. I am not afraid of hard physical work.
  60. I am good at solving problems.
  61. I can hammer a nail and own a few tool boxes.
  62. I can build things online.
  63. I can build things offline.
  64. I know what WordPress is.
  65. I often feel misunderstood.
  66. I am an introvert.
  67. I enjoy working at home.
  68. I am a landlord and rent rooms in this home to workers and students.
  69. I take aciddophus and bifidus daily.
  70. I take calcium and vitamin D daily.
  71. I am honest and most sincere with that honesty.
  72. I will not lie to you.
  73. I like flirting.
  74. I enjoy sex.
  75. I day dream.
  76. I eat many small meals per day.
  77. I like the idea of home schooling.
  78. I have never owned a cell phone, smart phone or other miniature mobile device.
  79. I would like to own an iPhone.
  80. I love Science Fiction.
  81. I have trouble learning spread sheets.
  82. I love colours.
  83. I don’t like striped clothing.
  84. I have trouble sticking to a routine.
  85. I am happy.
  86. I am deviant.
  87. I have taken substances in the past to enlighten my mind.
  88. I beleive in God or that higher power that connects us all.
  89. I get angry at politics.
  90. I get angry at outdated laws.
  91. I am not my blog.
  92. I try to see both sides.
  93. I can catch people in lies and do call them out on it.
  94. I dislike ignorance.
  95. I sleep 7 to 10 hours per day.
  96. I sleep with ear plugs.
  97. I have acute hearing and excellent eye sight.
  98. I am sensitive and take things to heart.
  99. I love when someone can keep my attention for longer than 10 minutes.
  100. I dream of traveling.
  101. I do not have a passport.
  102. I am afraid of crossing international borders especially into the United States.
  103. I love snow storms.
  104. I get excited.
  105. I like electronic and beautiful inspiring music but have trouble choosing it and prefer suggestions.
  106. I get busy.
  107. I get overwhelmed.
  108. I will try to repair first before buying something new.
  109. I love being lead sometimes.
  110. I have long fingers.
  111. I have hundreds of freckles than join together in the summertime.
  112. I beleive in taking ownership of one’s life and actions.
  113. I love blankets, puffs and quilts.
  114. I love paper.
  115. I love pens, watercolour, coloured pencils and acrylic.
  116. I go through an average one pen per week.
  117. I recycle.
  118. I choose organic when I can afford to.
  119. I love one on one.
  120. I like small get togethers and pot lucks.
  121. I love being amazed by grandiose things.
  122. I am secure with who I am.
  123. I do not like head games.
  124. I have trouble with spelling and grammar ever since studying French as a second language in Middle and High School and am thankful for spell check.
  125. I am not your mother.
  126. I do not like Yoga.
  127. I remember visually.
  128. I am not in debt and pay my bills on time.
  129. I am a scorpio.
  130. I am…
  131. Well there you have it folks. I may add this to my about page and link each item to a relevant post.

    If i sound like someone you are interested in do get in touch by emailing eastvanesica (AT) gmail DOT com.

I don’t need convincing that your product is good because I already love it

Don’t you, as an online content creator, wish you were paid just a little when you mention a product that you use everyday. I think I’ve mentioned Pilot G-tec pens a gazillion times on this blog, with Apple, Faber Castell and Arches following close behind. I’d be a little better off if these companies paid me just a little.

I think in part, I don’t mention these companies more, because I’m not being paid, regardless of how much I use their product. I find myself leaving their name out of posts and simply writing created with india ink, watercolor and paper rather than created with Faber Castell Pitt Artist Pens, Windsor & Newton Watercolor and Arches Watercolor paper. I wonder how many of you when out shopping for supplies and/or products, thought of that blog post, Etsy listing or Tweet which mentioned that product you were out shopping for directly or indirectly, and purchased said product.

I guess it comes down to Continue reading

The Implosion – I’m really a geek at heart

I don’t know the exact date that I drew this on but it was sometime during mid to late 2009 while sitting on the couch in the living room and likely it was late at night as it is right now when all is quiet with the moon shining and snow melting and everyone is asleep and there is no phone ringing and no cars whizzing by and all I hear is but Missy Two Shoes the cat snoring in her basket.

I love the night more than any other time. I naturally gravitate towards it regardless of what timezone I live in. My brain seems to turn on at 3AM when I’m able to process copious amounts of information and the ideas just seem to flow onto paper more freely. Continue reading

Artist Tip #22 – Just Doodle

Sometime last year I updated my Facebook account saying something along the lines that I couldn’t draw and wasn’t finding any inspiration in life. A cousin of mine, Marc, commented on that Facebook update by simply stating “Doodle”. This is one of those times when I wish Facebook had an internal update search engine as I can’t and will not go back through hundreds of Facebook updates to find Marc’s comment. That word though, and comment have stuck with me when I feel overwhelmed and can’t seem to be productive.

These are some recent doodles. Continue reading

Etsy feels like an addiction

And I should know because I am an addict.

Four and half years ago when I was being treated for GHB addiction my doctor asked me what I planned to do for money. At the time I was just discovering the beauty of blogging and all the possibilities that it held: a way to share my ideas, artwork, meet and converse with like-minded people and perhaps earn an income. I had already made the decision to never venture back into the applied arts world of graphic design and was looking for a more holistic way to live that in turn complimented my ideals and would allow for personal growth but more importantly, live as an artist.

The doctor asked how much time do you spend online? Continue reading