Pilot G-tec C4 pen on Fabriano journal paper
Artist Statement –
Wispy tendrils feathers akin
Life happens when we least expect it. Things take over, the ideas ferment churning then charging in stampede as if to overtake your own soul. A random thought maybe? Think about this though. How many times have you only just begun something and then at the inklings of success another begins to worry, to think less but speak more, before actually considering what they are saying to you or they just want you back to the way you were before the happiness began.
When someone else becomes successful does it bother you or cause you feelings of jealousy? I’d would be lieing if I said “I jessica Doyle am happy all the time about everyone else’s happiness and success.” I would. Really. But let me say this in the next breath “I am happy for everyone’s success.” Whoah now that is deep – eh?
By fate or decision of my parents to propagate I was born in November. I am said to be a Scorpio. After an introduction to someone in real life I am already judged as a scorpion, that I have a stinger, that I am feisty, high-strung and overtly sexual and out to get you and your family. This bugs me. On the other hand some people become instantly mesmerized that I am a scorpio. It is like night and day. Have I actually taken on that prescribed personae, being overtly white and black? For a long time I wrote about wanting to find that happy medium, that’s something that makes me tick, that makes me happy.
Working at home has lots of benefits. But one of them isn’t having your boyfriend home for the week while he is off work because of a back injury from last week. Or that a woman you met in your building from the summertime is phoning an average of 20 times a day! I keep asking her not to. She is my friend. But I have my limits. I hate the phone. I hate ringing or buzzing or swooshing or dripping or tick-tocking. It soon becomes a repetitive nuisance. I already have a mother. And no… OMG! LMAO my mother is not, for the record, a nuisance. I love my mom. She is my mom.
So yes, Eric has been home from work. A gable fell on him. He went back to the doctor on Saturday because he was not feeling better and the pain had migrated to other areas of his back. Turns out he has two broken ribs and Walking Pneumonia. Ah yeaht – he does. I’d have to argue here with Wikipedia about:
Walking pneumonia is an outdated term referring to pneumonia (infection of the small air-filled sacs of the lung) which does not cause significant disability. People who are affected by walking pneumonia do not require hospitalization and are often able to continue participating in school or work functions…
Well maybe not argue but at least suggest that a doctor or someone with medical expertise edit the first sentence to read, Walking pneumonia refers to pneumonia (infection of the small air-filled sacs of the lung) which does not cause significant disability. Eric recieved a diagnosis using those exact words Walking pneumonia. Two years ago in another far away part of Canada one of my first cousins was diagnosed as having walking pneumonia.
I don’t really know how to measure success other than the feeling or rather onset of happiness. It could be the emotion of trust. Maybe the inclination of mere worth on a global scale could be measured. Grand!
So this whole cell-phone thing or lack there of occupies my mind from time to time accumulating the pros and cons to ownership of such things such as mobility. This makes me laugh. How many people out there actually do NOT own a cell-phone either?
If there ever were words I would love to continue typing dyslexically (and have them be correct regardless of misspellings) they are in no particular order:
I incredibly misspell these words repeatedly and others I’m sure. Surprisingly, I am a finger typer. I don’t know what to call it. I do not type like they teach you in school. I began typing after I learned key commands in 1994. I remember back in 1992, hand printing all of my University essays. I just didn’t type then.
Over the weekend I was asked to join in a triad of masturbation. A triangle of female heads only visable through a a pre-decided frame. I said yes. Then said no. It’s not what I want. But is this what I want? I desire. I crave not unlike any other for human interaction of the sexual kind. Why is it only in the mind that it persists? Why is not aparent physically? To jump out of ones skin every now and then is needed. It is needed to be able to fucking cum amongst others. Where does the attraction come in or does it resemble a long lost vestibule of carnage only our ancesters were really aware of. Cognitively they new to spread it around. Fuck!
There are voices. I hear voices of my own within my mind. You know, we all do it. We all talk to ourselves from time to time.
I can’t seem to figure out the relation between ship and harbour. Once you do it for someone else does it make it any less significant? Ya do it all the time say. Never doing it for yourself. How do you really do something to yourself? How do you do something to yourself. I think we do. When we only do to ourselves what we do to ourselves we become them. And maybe they don’t really undertsnd what is going on with you. Maybe they can’t see everything that is happening. Maybe all the opinions don’t really matter. Maybe they and them can go and shove it, while the maple leaves fall soggy to the pavement in the midst of entanglement they entwine, combine filtering clear to mirror one another. They are the same.
It’s easy to let reality slip away she thinks. It’s easy to fall and bleed into the ground. It’s easy for blood to trickle upwards in the imagination and easy for him not to see what is happening. This is dismal.
I don’t want to feel obligation. I don’t want to feel guilt. I don’t like experiencing the feeling envy. We all do sometimes, may not want to admit it but we do. Haven’t you ever jumped? Jumped but not landed? I wonder what it feels like to land? I miss many things. Many things of wonder. Many things of unamed pleasures. I feel angry. I feel fear. I feel rage at times even. That is when i don’t land after jumping. Some emotions never hit the ground. They can overwhelm your being.
The paragraph below describes my feelings today, and rather well I might say. Bridgett Walther must be reading my mind. In the least she is one heluva(n) astrologer.
For November 9: At first blush this morning, you might feel a bit woozy or out of your league. That blurry feeling passes pretty quickly. In fact, by mid morning, you’re back in the saddle and ready to declare yourself the new sheriff in town. Although that declaration might be a touch premature, your growing feelings of confidence are absolutely justified. You’re beginning to experience the glimmer of coming into your own power and worth. And just think: it’s only going to get better during the next couple weeks!
Yesterday was a lot of fun. I never had so many people come by to say hi on my site before. Thank you all for the Birthday wishes.
As busy as I was online I was busy offline yesterday. My family called to wish me the best on the phone for an hour. A few friends came by on and off throughout the day to say Happy Birthday and bringing with them some cheer. My email inbox had some interesting e-greetings in it that made me laugh. And sadly… Eric and I were too pooped and fell asleep before we had a chance to…
On another note seeing as I am an adult of 33 years of age now. The other day I noticed over on girlspoke the other day an 18+ sign. I clicked it and was greeted with some terms and conditions. I am strongly leaning towards adding an 18+ sign to this site as well.
I am an adult. This site is written by an adult. Therefore it is an adult site.
I am woman. Hear me
ROAR! write! 😉
I am open to discussion about this 18+ rating. What are your thoughts on the manner? Do you feel it is necessary or for that matter legally needed?
Today I am 33 years old. As the day progresses, I will list 33 things in this post. If there is something you want to know about me simply ask me in the comments. Don’t be shy! Seriously. 😉
Born today, you are a highly creative individual, but you are prone to behavior and activities that may prove, at times, rather self-destructive. When you are engaged in such activities, you tend to be rather inattentive to your own safety or well-being, which can certainly aggravate the situation considerably. When you are on a roll, you can be counted on to be positive and productive; when you are not, you may well prove a disappointment to others as well as yourself. Your own determination, however, can keep you from staying down for long; you always recover.
You have great longevity, and, when you choose to stick with something through thick and thin, you are a formidable adversary -and you can prove quite effective in the political arena. Of course, you are one of those rare individuals who will almost always speak true.
This is a good day to take a chance — but you’ll want to calculate as best as you can every possible outcome. Err on the side of safety.
Someone, an un-named one emailed me the site PinkWorld as another Porn site to look at as an addition to number seven on this list. Honestly it was not as good as the other two. It could use some basic CSS styling. The dark yellow on pink is not legible enough. One bonus was this; it has very minimal unobtrusive ads.
And another someone thought I deserved it in number 28. Thanks.
I was walking home from the Burlesque show I had been in attendance of and lying on the grass was this man. This man had on a white mask. He had on a white cowboy hat. He was wearing a reddish burgundy plaid shirt and dark navy bluejeans. To top it off he wore some snakeskin cowboy boots. I walked by. Then stoped, flipped around and walked to the man on the grass. He was slumped over laying down heavy upon the ground. Eyes closed with no bodily movement, I say “HEY guy”…
I’ll run upstairs, call the police. I was looking at the side entrance to the building I lived in. Um. Sweat was dripping down my forhead now. I had been walking for 30 minutes. What do I do. Call the police Jessica. Touch him. Shake him. No I better not. He’s breathing. Belly -up. Belly-down. It is 2:00AM in the morning, there are firecrackers going off in the distance. BOOM. Crack…. pssssssss.
witting writing around the blogosphere much of late. It has been fun. I feel like I am back from something but am not sure what I am back from. Maybe a true vacation, combined with a little trust and spiced with emotion! I feel scandalous. I like that word scandalous. I don’t think of it as a negative word. It is more like a rollarcoaster of events that leads one to where she is now. That is what scandalous means. Yeah! And how can being happy be considered bad? I, Jessica Doyle am happy
Maybe this is all just in my head. You know what?