Category Archives: jessicadoyle

Today is my Birthday

Is 35 middle age?

Many of the women in my family live well into their nineties. I will not be middle aged until I turn 45. How grand is that; I have another 10 years before the infamous mid-life crisis!

jessica-doyle-friend

Until then, I will continue living, creating and enjoying life all the while smiling wearing these sunglasses at night that I found on the ground this past Hallowe’en.

jessica-doyle-night

Cheers!

And just a note and BIG thank you to everyone who has wished me a Happy Birthday via Etsy, Facebook, Twitter and email! Etsy and Facebook go so far as to program a Happy Birthday message into your dashboard in celebration of your special day!

etsy-bday-jessicadoyle

facebook-bday-jessica

34th Birthday Post
33rd Birthday Post

Photocredits – PicsByIan

WHY-why

WHY - why...

I began drawing this before Christmas only recently finishing it. It is drawn with various Pilot pens. Even the white is an opaque ink Pilot pen. The paper I drew upon is about 1/16″ or 2mm thick and slightly flecked and textured with color. It measures 5″ by 7″ or 152mm by 203mm

The original is for sale in my shop and 5″ by 7″ prints are now up to.

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967 days later…

Memories accumulate over time interlacing overlapping each other causing fog to form at the base of one’s understanding. We see people in passing who at one time understood us; perhaps even loved us and whom we used to love to. They dwell between the nether regions of our souls; a place dark perhaps distraught from years of neglect and solitude.

When you see what it really is
that is what you’ll “get”
Got it?

I don’t know why I saw her tonight. I don’t know why she was there dancing. I couldn’t understand the memories that surged yet understood why and how they became.

We ingested copious amounts of drugs together. We partied days at a time. Not hours. Nor evenings. Days. 72 hours? 3 days turned into weeks for me. Months. Years. Passed.

It broke tonight. The craving for intoxication. Annihilation. Emptiness. I saw her and all that was is. All that will be was forgotten.

Nine hundred and sixty seven days later I remain sober of GHB.

Fuck, the last two weeks became stupendously hard for me and I don’t know why. It was all I could do but work, draw, write, sleep, not sleep, be, not be, freak silently while the cravings raced over me, through me and around me. How can this be? How!!! Talking to someone here in this freaking city is irrelevant. People here in this small town have no clue. NONE.

So, I will talk to you. You who will not judge, nor react. You who will accept. You the unknown, the present tense of life.

It melted away tonight. As quickly as it hit, two weeks later it melted, evaporated. It’s been a long long time since I’ve craved like this. Maybe the longest it has ever lasted since I quit. The whole of the month of April, 2008 has nearly strangled me with… the words just don’t exist to continue writing right now.

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Jesus knows…

Jesus knows

…how to get the demons out.

How to get the Demons Out

There is a tropical Storm Named Noel traversing the Maritimes right now. I hijacked a camera and began clicking a few images of myself and seeing as I have not published ANY NEW photos to this blog of myself (in a year perhaps) I thought I would. The two above stood out from the rest. If you were looking for a nice smile the one below is best. :)

Smile you are standing in front of the bathroom mirror

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I am moving again – digitally that is to WordPress.com and Flickr

Yes, that time of year has arrived where I must pay Hosting and Domain Name renewal fees. This year, however, I am solely renewing the domain name of http://jessicadoyle.ca.

Jessica layered, inverted & multiplied

I have enjoyed hosting a WordPress.org Blog. I learned a helluva lot. The learning curve has become a burden I am sad to say, as I am inept at updating the software, and the sheer volume of possible combinations of themes, plugins and CSS styles has overwhelmed me. Moving to WordPress.com will eliminate most of that choice bringing things back to basics and what I truly want to do, write, draw and share.

Since moving to Saint John the realization of:
a. I am not stupid set in đŸ˜‰ and,
b. Simplify your online life both became quite apparent.

I know enough to make a choice in pursuit of happiness rather than remain stagnant on this Blog.

I can be found at http://jessicadoyle.wordpress.com. In a month I’ll be pointing that Blog to the domain name of http://jessicadoyle.ca after I complete transferring all the published posts on this Blog to that Blog. And from what I have discovered that is no easy task plugin or no plugin. My categories have disappeared and I am no XML wizard. But, I will do my best even if it comes down to copying and pasting each post, 345 in all manually. I wanted to do some editing anyways!

For the time being I will not be updating this Blog nor the WordPress.com Blog. I will be updating Flickr with art and handwritten posts two or three times per week. Hope to see you around! And I will announce when I am alive over on WordPress.com.

Wish me luck.

Have you ever tried to work out the way you think.

I think about this person saying these things to another person.

“She is fabulous!
She is an artist”

“Oh really
tell me more”

Tonight it dawned on me. It rose up beyond the clouds into perception;
into reality.
I think about people and what they think of me
much of the time.
Is that,
what I am thinking?

No.

I think about those people saying things to other people when in fact, I am thinking about saying things to other people about themselves.

Ah