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Addiction

Etsy feels like an addiction

And I should know because I am an addict.
Four and half years ago when I was being treated for GHB addiction my doctor asked me what I planned to do for money. At the time I was just discovering the beauty of blogging and all the possibilities that it held: a way to share my [...]

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Absinthe 99 or playing with the green fairy that was 2004

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In 2004 during an intensive year of college in British Columbia we were asked to illustrate a poster in an older illustrative style with hand drawn letters. Absinthe 99 is the result of that assignment.
That year of college was one of the most brutal and rewarding times of my life. I had applied and was [...]

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The Physical Withdrawal VS the Mental Withdrawal

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There are no words to describe how I’m feeling these last few days. The physical withdrawal from nicotine was easy. The mental withdrawal is not so easy.
I’m feeling drawn to use substitutes and am not eating enough. Oddly when most people quit smoking they begin eating more. I’m the opposite. I try to control something, [...]

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Secret #5 – Stop Smoking

Twenty years have come and gone since I picked up my first cigarette and smoked it. I like it you know.
the taste the feel, the way it filled my lungs and how it circled upwards twirling into the air once exhaled. It has always visually entranced me…
About three years ago I stopped smoking indoors. Yes, [...]

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3 Years Today and Five Ways to Make it to 4

Yes, it is that day of the year again where I can honestly say that I am sober of GHB addiction.
Five Ways to Make it to 4

Don’t hang out with people who use the drug you were addicted to no matter how much you like them steer clear because a moment of weakness could strike [...]

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3 Ways to Positively Change You

1. Don’t visit the Etsy forums. EVER. period.
These days the Etsy forums resemble a mad hatters tea party on acid except everyone is serving nastiness and it’s become non-positive in every way shape and form. I can’t weed out the negative anymore. They can and will suck your creative spirit dry. As of today I [...]

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967 days later…

Memories accumulate over time interlacing overlapping each other causing fog to form at the base of one’s understanding. We see people in passing who at one time understood us; perhaps even loved us and whom we used to love to. They dwell between the nether regions of our souls; a place dark perhaps distraught from [...]

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How do you clean your mind?

I began, a few moments ago, thinking about how I wished I could remove my brain, throw it in the wash with detergent and later dry it outside on the line in the crisp autumn air.
I can’t literally do that though and that fact irks me especially after a day like today.
I am only able [...]

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About 11 Days Ago I Celebrated

I celebrated quietly. It felt surreal. It felt awkward and good.
Eleven days ago on August 26th, 2007 I celebrated 24 months *sobriety.
I drew a picture; a representation of feelings felt in the midst of quietly laying alone, late that night in bed.

Some people know this as I did tell them that day. A handful really, [...]

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Raw emotion – distilled into water?

There lives fear everywhere. It’s installed in us when we each are born. This installation learns. In it’s truest and earliest form, fear was an instinct. An instinct such as hunger, and the need for warmth when it was cold; fear kept you safe. Fear is no longer fear. It is Phobic.
I need to think [...]

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Sober since August 26th, 2005.

Today is day 200. I’ve been clean of GHB for 200 days. I’m proud of that fact. I used once three weeks into my sobriety and re-committed again. I had two glasses of wine this past weekend on Saturday night and have re-committed again. I find myself hitting a tuff spot. It’s not that I [...]

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Accupuncture

This afternoon I went to Daytox here in Vancouver to attend the Benzodiazapine support group and receive acupuncture. Odd thing was today, I happened to be the sole one in acupuncture and thereafter in the support Group. LOL. Yes, it was funny but on rare occasions at Daytox you could end up being the only [...]

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