Tag Archives: answers

You Can’t Handle The Truth

Happiness is a Beach in Kauai

So I’ve learned something.

I went to Kauai to find answers, not really even knowing what my questions were, but feeling like there was something I was missing that I needed to find. Or maybe I needed to be found. One of those. I don’t know.

I wait for answers too often. If I want something to happen, I assume things are simply going to work out, eventually. Someone or something will swoop in with neon signs and arrows showing me every step of the way. 

But clearly, for awhile now, I’ve been unhappy. I’ve felt unsettled and awkward, almost like I was intentionally avoiding something. And for the first few days in Kauai, I wasn’t settled either. I was thrilled to be there, of course, but I felt a little like I was phoning it in. The truth was, I was starting to panic. What if I didn’t find answers here? WHAT IF THERE WERE NO ANSWERS?! Gack. Continue reading

Simpler Times

With the way the world is moving it seems finding permanent solutions to anything, is at most, a lost pipe dream. And with what the media would have you beleive is that the world is collapsing in crisis and that we need more and more protections from nameless entities to ensure our safety and survival as a species. We need to be protected from ourselves.

And this all leaves me wondering where I fit into this picture. I think I’m on the outside looking in most of the time. It’s like I don’t know how to get there or everything I touch collapses, falls apart, moves away, stops talking to me, closes or mirrors in vanity.

This year more than any other I find myself jumping and wading through knee deep sludge. And at times it is grossly of my own doing. They say you are the creator of your own world and they also say that you can do anything or have anything you want if you work hard enough and somehow have enough luck. Really?

Then they say do what you love and the money will follow. Don’t be to nice but don’t lie either. Be honest, but don’t be a pushover. Hang in there okay and say your prayers and cross your fingers, dot your “I”s and cross your “T”s and wish for everlasting peace. It’s all a load of crockery don’t you think.

While many of us in the Western world are not destitute or starving, we are being force fed an image of reality that will keep us enslaved until we die.

And like many, I long for simpler times, but maybe those fabled simpler times are just that, the poplar image of yesteryear that survived the test of time. For, how do we know if yesterday was easier than today and how do we know that tomorrow might just be more hopeful than today.

And this isn’t to say that it’s all been gross. It’s rather been kind of fun getting down and dirty in said sludge, searching for answers.

The photo above I snapped one day while walking through a field on my way to the bank on the East Side of Saint John. In the distance is Uptown Saint John.

The Medicine of Duck Duck Goose

So thank you everyone for the kind words and for sharing your hypothyroidism stories here on the blog, on Google Buzz and in email with me. The hardest part in all of this is accepting it and thus moving forward with changes I must make to my daily routines and eating habits.

I have many questions and concerns that seem to be unanswered at the moment or are answered in a way that brings up more questions or the answers just haven’t sunk in, yet.

Can I take a pro-biotic with Synthroid in the morning as it’s to be taken on an empty stomach and first thing in the morning too? I take two 10,000,000 billion active cells capsules that contain both acidopholus and bifidus. This has kept Chron’s disease in remission for 14 years and I do not want to stop taking it as it works.

And what about Calcium? I was taking 500mg of calcium carbonate/citrate w/ vitamin D daily and used to take it first thing in the morning too at the recommendation of my family doctor in Vancouver, due to a family history of early onset osteoporosis. When do I take this supplement if I can’t take it with Synthroid? Is it safe to take it at all while on Synthroid? Do I take it before I go to bed instead? Is that safe? Continue reading

On silliness, smiles and the pursuit of happniess

Is it as hard as taking that first step into the unknown or is it as easy as risking everything for something substantial. These nights I find myself pondering questions, seeking answers and challenging myself all in the pursuit happiness.

Deco Bird

I don’t smile anymore when I’m not happy nor will I make small talk when in a fowl mood. Why? Because it’s fake. I believe in honesty. I’m not saying I’ll jump down your throat when you smile and say hello but I may not respond with the same enthusiasm you have per say.

A smile needs to be genuine. A smile needs to be trusted. A smile needs to show your character. When created in truth a smile is pure soul. Nothing less. Nothing more. It is integral that we as human beings become aware of realism.

Don’t you get tired of TV? Of all that shit the politicians smile saying will be better someday. Now I’m laughing. Silly politicians.

Reality is it’s freezing outside here tonight. Reality is exhaustion from working 10 to 12 hour days, seven days a week. Reality is a beloved family member is terribly sick. Reality is keeping in check what is real and throwing away what is not.

Image Title – Deco Bird, ink and marker on acid free paper

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29 Questions Answered

If you continually ask yourself questions will you ever decide? Probably not. The act of making a decision or the lack there of is at the heart of anxiety and ADHD. Today I’ll present you some answers to questions I asked in my previous post. The questions could be asked by anyone to anyone else. They are not relevant to me alone. You may relate to the question or the answer and possibly agree or disagree to either.

I placed italicized numbers beside each answer as the 29 questions are answered in no particular order. They all however form one complete idea.

Ok, if you have a website do you want to place advertising on it? (1.)Google Adsence and (2.)Amazon seem two likely choices to choose for potential ad revenue. They are both well established advertising programs on the web. I’ve not setup Amazon on Jessica Doyle however I have implemented Adsence. Like with food I’ll try them once and possibly twice and give them each a little time to simmer. And while the ads simmer (11.)RSS stands for Really Simple Syndication. and it needs to be fed a feed.

There are over 800 free (3.)themes available for WordPress to download. I have settled on using fauna. It’s flexible width, customizable and supports (7.)widgets; something I was looking for. I’ve yet to master the art of tagging with (12.)Ulimate Tag Warrior 3 (UTW3). I’m a novice at best. Tagging increases hits to your website through select words describing your content. Check out Technorati if you looking to search using tags.

I do not wish to (20.)work 9 to 5. I hope to (6.)make money through this website. I will ask you this; Say I set up a sort of (23.)raffle for artwork. Say this piece of artwork is valued at $100 and through Paypal, setup specifically to accept donations towards the piece of artwork that in the end would become tickets. Each ticket would be $5 and if you wanted five tickets it would be a donation of $25 dollars giving you five chances to win rather than one. As soon as the goal of the set price of artwork is met I will draw a ticket i.e. Once 20 tickets at $5 a piece are sold I would draw a name or email address randomly and mail your prize to you once you confirm your address through email verification. This would give everyone a chance to own original artwork. (18,19.)Through self publishing books of drawings and poetry my work will be available en mass in the near future through LuLu. I’ll also provide (25.)free downloads of my work in my gallery.

How much (5.)money do I hope to make… enough to cover my bills and living expenses. I’ve never grossed more than 25K a year. Most years it was much less. I manage as do most artists. At this point in time I put in five to ten hours per day every day, on this site through researching, writing and producing content. That is, in essence, working full time. You the viewer are reading and looking; in essence, consuming a product. The product is my site. (4.)As everyone living in the world today can attest, we as human beings need income to survive.

By staying true to one self an [tag]idea[/tag] becomes reality. By trying to (8.)please others one can lose contact with whom they really are. This is not to say that pleasing people is bad. (9.)It is however dangerous if you are not being true to yourself. By sharing who you really are with others in genuine honesty. Artists have a task and that task is to create. Artists draw from their own personal experience. Their senses take it in and your senses get aroused. Without artists there would be no culture. Everyone can relate in some way to at least one artists work, everyone. [It] can stir emotions long forgotten, take you to places you didn’t know existed or have never experienced. (16.)Art is the end result of a beginning.

I am 1.618 as are you. [It] is a number that the natural world seems to follow extensively. It is the Golden Mean. Click the Wiki for a brief quickie on what (17.)1.618 means. I (21.)understand this number… (22.)do you?

Ten happens to be the first number to have two digits that if added together equal one. We are all (10.)connected by the soles of our feet. Just think; you are standing on a tiled kitchen floor which is connected to the carpet going out into the hallway of the apartment complex you live in. This carpet leads to every other door within the building to every other human standing or sitting on their tiled kitchen floors. This carpet goes all the way down the stairs to the front exit where it connects to the stairs which connect to the sidewalk where many other feet are cycling, walking or running around on.

This sidewalk connects other structures together and also borders the street. There are humans in cars driving foot on petal connected to metal connected to the car and hence the street. The streets connect to other roadways leading to highways where other humans are stopping and going using there feet pushin’ petal to the metal! (14.)So yeah I’ve got a footprint (15.)connected to yours, which is connected to the rest, belonging to this world.

(24.)CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Jessica entered into this particular session half way through. Each session contains eight classes. How many sessions did Jessica attend? Next session begins this Friday and she will be attending all eight classes.

I hate to love. I love to hate. (26,27.)These two emotions rule all other emotions felt by human beings. They are the embellishment of the human soul.

Do I need your approval? (28.)No, would be the short answer. Change the word from “need” to “want” and ask the same question. Do I want your approval? Simply by changing what you need to what you want can have a huge impact on your decision making process. You may be surprised at how different your answers become. I’d love to have your approval but not your permission.

Lucky question number 13 is left to last with number 29. (13.)Is Valium good or bad? (29.)Are drugs good or bad? It’s not a question of good or bad, it is a choice; the choice to do or not to do. Whatever you do, it is your choice. Whether the choice is illegal or legal, it is your choice.

We each have been born with the ability to choose and choosing may mean walking the road less traveled for inspiration using our own two feet for support.