Tag Archives: funny

Fermenting Canadian Ice Wine

I think I miss the point completely on occasion and float away into my own little world forgetting that which exists and already surrounds me. Then I get to thinking about that point and why it has to be tipped and pointy and why is can’t be round, soft and interchangeable with beams of light infused with grape juice.

And then again if beams of light were infused with grape juice they would ferment as they travelled to earth at the speed of light and once here we’d all be drunk on clear burgundy sun drops.

Except here in Canada those infused beams of light would freeze and ice wine would fall from the air.

It’s -28ºC / -18ºF here in Saint John, New Brunswick!

Wooden, 8×8 inch /20,3cm by20,3cm plate distressed and painted by me

Etsy Elves in Indonesia are Helping Me Package this Christmas

Yesterday this email from Christopher Dewan of The Urban Sherpa arrived. He had found me about a week ago via Gawker Artists and proceeded to add me as a friend on Facebook and I in turn added him.

He bought Do You Love Me from the shop yesterday. I emailed him saying thank you and that his order would be packaged today and mailed out to him on Wednesday.

He responded:

Oh, hi! For some reason, I guess I didn’t expect that order would go straight to you. I guess I figured, I don’t know, you had “people” for that — a great big art warehouse in Indonesia, or Etsy elves; and then you’d just get a big fat monthly check in the mail from them. Or something. I guess I’m naive…

Well, I work in a studio that up until very recently doubled as my bedroom. My helpers are two cats named Missy Two Shoes and Cat McGandy.

I print, cut, assemble, create and package everything for sale in my shop while the cats meow Silent Night and frollick to Jingle Bell Rock.

Thanks Christopher for making me laugh!

Christopher’s email made me think of Knife Gun Pen’s poem, The Four Hundred Hour Workweek and then of Chartreuse’s blog post, The Laymans guide to the End of the World Part One.

I like being small.


Catching up on email backlog

If you emailed me recently or months ago (haha) I am catching up on that today. It is my mission to respond to each and every one of you whether it be business, personal or other related!

I’m making an extra special effort to respond to the gR0w y0uR p3Ni5 spam!

I hate spam.

You can go to h3LL! beacuse my p3Ni5 is just fine.

Thank god for gmail which has ultimate blocking and punching power against the dreaded V1aGrA!

It happened out of the blue


Anyone who sells on Etsy and has posted within the promotions section of that site’s forum also knows that within 23 seconds flat your promo post will be 6 pages deep within that section.

If you are lucky, someone else will post an item related to your item and your thread will be bumped to the top of page one again and so on and so forth to that special five post long page one visible from the homepage of the Etsy forums.

Tonight, I met babybaubbles and novelartanddesign along with a few other stray avatars. Together, we created a story and Jerry was the star of the event!

Be sure to click every link and read every line. I guarantee you will laugh out loud at least once!

Before tonight I had never spoken to either of these sellers. Novelartanddesign I had known of but had not formally been introduced to.

I love you guys!

STATS on Karen, I and an itsy-bitsy pine tree

Karen and I

The Stats from left (Karen) to right (Jessica)

Location – Fredericton and Saint John
Age – both 34
Marital Status – Both Single
Children – Neither one has kids after two long term relationships have ended
Size – both size 6
Height – 5’7″ and 5’5″
Profession – Fabulous Federal Government Employee and World Renowned Artist
Wants – Men who actually want to have children someday

A little tree growing out of a piece of wood

The Stats – mini pine tree

Location – An undisclosed Downtown Fredericton Driveway growing out of an old building timber
Height – 6 inches
Wants – forest

I spent last weekend in Fredericton. We had much fun walking, BBQing, rummaging through second hand clothing shops and enjoying the beginnings of summer. Karen and I have been friends for 16 years. We met shortly after high school and have stayed close ever since.

Monday HA ha – Worms Good Here?

Worms good here?

Usually have a piece of large paper or mat board that get used as a tester for color or to get my pen working during a moment of angst when it is not flowing, and even to draw upon when the drawing you are drawing sucks!

As is the case…

I began singing this song in my head after accidentally turning both a perfectly happy fish and birdie into sad and frustrated looking creatures by messing toooooo much with their eyes…

No one loves me
Everybody hates me
Going to the garden to eat worms
Big fat juicy ones
Small skinny slimy ones…

And we all know what happens when we mess with to much with EYEballs!


Artist Tip #7 – What do you do with that dormant artwork piled in your closet?

So What do you do with that dormant artwork piled in your closet?

Here is a list of 10 possibilities

1. Give it away as a gift
2. Sell it on Etsy
3. Auction it off on Ebay
4. Cut it up and use it for collage purposes
5. Re-work it using that new paint!
6. …and finish that piece from 1982!
7. Take pictures of it and share it online
8. Create greeting cards from it
9. Hang it on the wall
10. Or if worse comes to worse you will die and your children will be filthy stinking rich when they sell it!

Next Week’s Tip – How to get good at drawing one thing

Last Week’s Tip

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