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A New Brunswick Diary

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Dear Diary,
Aug 12 – Moved to our new home in New Brunswick. It is so beautiful here. The northern woods are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see snow. I love it here.
Oct 14 – New Brunswick is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned colors – shades of red and orange. [...]

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Hand painting Christmas balls or is it really about sex?

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Each year, well almost every year I sit down and paint Christmas balls for gift giving as I finally did finish setting up that area in the living room to paint at earlier this week. I needed an area that could remain creatively messy. Thus far I’ve painted four Christmas balls and sadly have run [...]

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Absinthe 99 or playing with the green fairy that was 2004

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In 2004 during an intensive year of college in British Columbia we were asked to illustrate a poster in an older illustrative style with hand drawn letters. Absinthe 99 is the result of that assignment.
That year of college was one of the most brutal and rewarding times of my life. I had applied and was [...]

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Step by Step List – How I made a million dollars on Etsy!

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First I drew an ink drawing on pretty paper.

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Where I live you NEED a pair of these!

Waterproof boots

Woolie handknit hat and warm coat

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Etsy Elves in Indonesia are Helping Me Package this Christmas

Yesterday this email from Christopher Dewan of The Urban Sherpa arrived. He had found me about a week ago via Gawker Artists and proceeded to add me as a friend on Facebook and I in turn added him.
He bought Do You Love Me from the shop yesterday. I emailed him saying thank you and that [...]

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Bloody nose or why I was in a fight yesterday…

…with dust.

Upon waking my nose ran away and my eyes cried as I climbed out of bed at 8:30AM and trotted for the bathroom. I grabbed a tissue and began blowing blood. My poor sinuses went through hell yesterday while I was at Value Village; a local second hand chain perusing then trying on clothing.
In [...]

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It happened out of the blue

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5736378&page=1
Anyone who sells on Etsy and has posted within the promotions section of that site’s forum also knows that within 23 seconds flat your promo post will be 6 pages deep within that section.
If you are lucky, someone else will post an item related to your item and your thread will be bumped to the [...]

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STATS on Karen, I and an itsy-bitsy pine tree

The Stats from left (Karen) to right (Jessica)
Location – Fredericton and Saint John
Age – both 34
Marital Status – Both Single
Children – Neither one has kids after two long term relationships have ended
Size – both size 6
Height – 5′7″ and 5′5″
Profession – Fabulous Federal Government Employee and World Renowned Artist
Wants – Men who actually want to [...]

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Monday HA ha – Worms Good Here?

Usually have a piece of large paper or mat board that get used as a tester for color or to get my pen working during a moment of angst when it is not flowing, and even to draw upon when the drawing you are drawing sucks!
As is the case…
I began singing this song in my [...]

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Artist Tip #7 – What do you do with that dormant artwork piled in your closet?

So What do you do with that dormant artwork piled in your closet?
Here is a list of 10 possibilities
1. Give it away as a gift
2. Sell it on Etsy
3. Auction it off on Ebay
4. Cut it up and use it for collage purposes
5. Re-work it using that new paint!
6. …and finish that piece from 1982!
7. [...]

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Artist Tip #5 – How to Package Aunt Wilma’s Christmas Gift

Artist Tip #5 – How to Package Aunt Wilma’s Christmas Gift
Remember that eyeball you tore out? I bet you saved it! Go now and get your Aunt Wilma caricature with red rose collage and wrap it in red paper. Tie this with green ribbon. Next punch a hole through that saved eyeball. Using a little [...]

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Three Psycho Snowmen or How to Identify Which Drug Your Snowman is Taking

The Opiate Addict

He has very tiny pupils. His snow is dirty yet he appears to be happy. He chooses to dress in overly bright decorative scarves that have been out of style for 15 years.
–
The Amphetamines Addict

Notice how happy, bright and shiny this snowman is! Look closely at his dilated pupils and dryed out mouth. [...]

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Dear Santa

All I want for Christmas is an Epson Stylus printer
an Epson Stylus printer
an Epson Stylus printer
All I want for Christmas is an *Epson Stylus printer
soooooo I can make prints of my work to sell for cheaperrrrrrrrr.

*Preferably a wide format Epson Stylus Pro printer that uses only archival quality inks with the ability to [...]

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Artist Tip #4 – How to make aunt Wilma happy now that you’ve made her mad

Artists Tip #4 – How to make aunt Wilma happy now that you’ve made her mad
Now that Aunt Wilma is flaming angry because you caricatured her face and ripped out one of her eyeballs paste a pretty paper red rose in place of the missing wrinkled third eyeball that you previously created from one unsightly [...]

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Artists Tip #3 – How to hide that unsightly pen line

Artists Tip #3 – How to hide that unsightly pen line
When you’ve drawn a line and it’s bad because you smudged it, drew the line too long, too short, gave aunt Wilma an extra eyeball or twitched from being startled from your rhythm by said aunt Wilma simply give her another eyeball. In other words [...]

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Fart Squirt

…because I don’t only draw the penis. I draw the vulva to.
This is drawn in a Moleskine Cahier using a Pilot G-tec C4 pen.
Fart Squirt got some giggles over on my flickr blog. I wish I could add the tickle note here that I had added over there.

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Artists Tip #2 – What to do when your pencil lead breaks

Artists Tip #2 – What to do when your pencil lead breaks
When your pencil lead breaks because you pressed too hard and you do not have a pencil sharpener or pocket knife handy, simply light the end of your pencil on fire using a match or lighter, let it burn for 10 seconds and blow [...]

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Artists Tip #1 – What to do when you have no water

Artists TIP #1 – What to do when you have no water
If there is no water nearby and you NEED to paint, place paintbrush or whatever creative instrument you prefer into your mouth, think of your favorite food and wait for the gushes of saliva to appear and wet your brush.
Next week’s tip: What to [...]

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This can’t make you pregnant

I made a treasury list. Well the Basic Penis drawing made a Treasury West List on Etsy. It is the little penis drawing on the bottom left corner just left of the Dinky Finger Puppets below.

How cool!
Thanks soapyho for making me laugh and adding me to the list.

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