Tag Archives: humor

It happened out of the blue

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5736378&page=1

Anyone who sells on Etsy and has posted within the promotions section of that site’s forum also knows that within 23 seconds flat your promo post will be 6 pages deep within that section.

If you are lucky, someone else will post an item related to your item and your thread will be bumped to the top of page one again and so on and so forth to that special five post long page one visible from the homepage of the Etsy forums.

Tonight, I met babybaubbles and novelartanddesign along with a few other stray avatars. Together, we created a story and Jerry was the star of the event!

Be sure to click every link and read every line. I guarantee you will laugh out loud at least once!

Before tonight I had never spoken to either of these sellers. Novelartanddesign I had known of but had not formally been introduced to.

I love you guys!

STATS on Karen, I and an itsy-bitsy pine tree

Karen and I

The Stats from left (Karen) to right (Jessica)

Location – Fredericton and Saint John
Age – both 34
Marital Status – Both Single
Children – Neither one has kids after two long term relationships have ended
Size – both size 6
Height – 5’7″ and 5’5″
Profession – Fabulous Federal Government Employee and World Renowned Artist
Wants – Men who actually want to have children someday

A little tree growing out of a piece of wood

The Stats – mini pine tree

Location – An undisclosed Downtown Fredericton Driveway growing out of an old building timber
Height – 6 inches
Wants – forest

I spent last weekend in Fredericton. We had much fun walking, BBQing, rummaging through second hand clothing shops and enjoying the beginnings of summer. Karen and I have been friends for 16 years. We met shortly after high school and have stayed close ever since.

Monday HA ha – Worms Good Here?

Worms good here?

Usually have a piece of large paper or mat board that get used as a tester for color or to get my pen working during a moment of angst when it is not flowing, and even to draw upon when the drawing you are drawing sucks!

As is the case…

I began singing this song in my head after accidentally turning both a perfectly happy fish and birdie into sad and frustrated looking creatures by messing toooooo much with their eyes…

No one loves me
Everybody hates me
Going to the garden to eat worms
Big fat juicy ones
Small skinny slimy ones…

And we all know what happens when we mess with to much with EYEballs!

haha

Artist Tip #7 – What do you do with that dormant artwork piled in your closet?

So What do you do with that dormant artwork piled in your closet?

Here is a list of 10 possibilities

1. Give it away as a gift
2. Sell it on Etsy
3. Auction it off on Ebay
4. Cut it up and use it for collage purposes
5. Re-work it using that new paint!
6. …and finish that piece from 1982!
7. Take pictures of it and share it online
8. Create greeting cards from it
9. Hang it on the wall
10. Or if worse comes to worse you will die and your children will be filthy stinking rich when they sell it!

Next Week’s Tip – How to get good at drawing one thing

Last Week’s Tip

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Artist Tip #5 – How to Package Aunt Wilma’s Christmas Gift

Artist Tip #5 – How to Package Aunt Wilma’s Christmas Gift

Remember that eyeball you tore out? I bet you saved it! Go now and get your Aunt Wilma caricature with red rose collage and wrap it in red paper. Tie this with green ribbon. Next punch a hole through that saved eyeball. Using a little more green ribbon loop the eyeball to the red wrapped gift as your hand-made Christmas gift tag.

Aunt Wilma will love it.

Next Weeks Tip – Why you should save your used Christmas wrapping paper

Last Weeks Tip

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Three Psycho Snowmen or How to Identify Which Drug Your Snowman is Taking

The Opiate Addict

The Opiate Addict

He has very tiny pupils. His snow is dirty yet he appears to be happy. He chooses to dress in overly bright decorative scarves that have been out of style for 15 years.

The Amphetamines Addict

The Amphetamines Addict

Notice how happy, bright and shiny this snowman is! Look closely at his dilated pupils and dryed out mouth. He even sports his own hand made wooden pipe.

…and The Alcoholic

The Alcaholic

This snowman is depressed. His snow is dirty, his eyes are dull and his nose has gin blossomed. His clothes are clean but faded and old.

Three Psycho Snowmen

I come from a family of crafters and labourers who have what some may call a peculiar sense of humor. When you are couped up inside month after month during winter you need to do something to bide your time.

After living on Vancouver’s Eastside for four years I couldn’t help but laugh at these snowmen my folks made. All three do resemble mentally impaired folk art style candle holding drug addicts.

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Dear Santa

All I want for Christmas is an Epson Stylus printer
an Epson Stylus printer
an Epson Stylus printer

All I want for Christmas is an *Epson Stylus printer
soooooo I can make prints of my work to sell for cheaperrrrrrrrr.

:)

*Preferably a wide format Epson Stylus Pro printer that uses only archival quality inks with the ability to print on canvas along with paper and card stock. Got that Santa?

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Artist Tip #4 – How to make aunt Wilma happy now that you’ve made her mad

Artists Tip #4 – How to make aunt Wilma happy now that you’ve made her mad

Now that Aunt Wilma is flaming angry because you caricatured her face and ripped out one of her eyeballs paste a pretty paper red rose in place of the missing wrinkled third eyeball that you previously created from one unsightly pen line. Explain to her that she is beautiful and that you love her. Do NOT apologize. Give this collage to her as a gift this Christmas.

Next Weeks Tip – How to package Aunt Wilma’s Christmas Gift

Last Weeks Tip

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