The guilt arrives in waves. For many this guilt is something you may never experience. It could be something you experience daily.
It’s a form of anxiety associated with earning money. That’s the only way I can describe this; that knowledge that one is beginning to earn more than poverty level income and entering into the middle class dream.
I mean, I’ve never had to deal with earning much money by Canadian standards or budgeting in larger amounts each month.
All I want to say is dream, then think of that dream and make it a reality. This dream has to do with money and making money in a way that is healthy, self gratifying and brings happiness or emotion into the world; a contribution.
Everyone gets days and sometimes weeks where everything is thrown around and life literally becomes a never ending roller coaster ride… This is one of those times unedited and without links…
The roller-coaster began last week with an Etsy convo that I sent to MaryMary about a video and then a phone call that my boyfriend’s father was in the hospital. I’ve never met his family. We’ve only been together for one month but it feels like four months. Continue reading
It began a few weeks ago as simply a feeling of being tired and overwhelmed. Then it progressed into exhaustion and not being able to keep up with myself or rather do all the things I wanted no needed to do. After a week or so a slight sore throat developed and that too went away but the tiredness remained.
Usually a day or two before a sickness takes a real hold of me I tend to get this adrenaline rush and feel so physically awesome running around and do so much in such a short period of time like today is the last day that I’ll ever be alive and everything I ever wanted to do must be done now! Sadly, deep down inside on that day I know that I’m going to crash pretty hard and boy the crash has been long winded this time around.
The life was sucked out of me on 12th Avenue. The incessant traffic noise I wrote about on more than one occasion in my journal. It didn’t ebb and flow there but rather marched no cannon balled and madly screamed back and forth along that magnificent tree lined East Vancouver Street.
I remember mere moments of stillness when the traffic did stop for a light or for a pedestrian brave enough to cross through Continue reading
And I should know because I am an addict.
Four and half years ago when I was being treated for GHB addiction my doctor asked me what I planned to do for money. At the time I was just discovering the beauty of blogging and all the possibilities that it held: a way to share my ideas, artwork, meet and converse with like-minded people and perhaps earn an income. I had already made the decision to never venture back into the applied arts world of graphic design and was looking for a more holistic way to live that in turn complimented my ideals and would allow for personal growth but more importantly, live as an artist.
The doctor asked how much time do you spend online? Continue reading
More than ever we as human beings need more peace and tranquility in our lives. This isn’t to say that excitement and even struggle are not a part of it, yet there comes a time when we must move on and change our lives for the better, even when it hurts.
I feel optimistic that the hard work I’m doing will create a more fulfilling life both spiritually and financially. For too long I relied on a second income and help from a spouse only to leave one and be left by the other. I guess that evens me out. And I do hope to meet the right person someday as it does get lonely.
Very recently, I broke up with man whom I’d been dating on and off for close to eight years when we were both single. I fell in love with him. And after talking with a close friend the other night who suggested that maybe I was lusting after and not loving this man; did I realize the first to be true. She to, in turn is going through an extended break-up and I’m so grateful to have her to talk to for where I live there isn’t many single women in their 30’s who don’t have kids, to talk to or single men that I click with for that matter.
So, I’m releasing hope into the world today.
And you may remember the original drawing of Hope in pastel hues of pink, blue and green…
I played with this drawing quite a bit in Adobe Photoshop to get her to a beautiful yellow ocher colour. I’m pleased with how she turned out. Hope is a limited Edition. There will ONLY be 40 printed. You can get her in the shop.
This is the first real vacation I’ve taken in a little over five years. Mom and I are traveling to a resort in Southern Ontario. I’ll have computer access and be checking in on my shops, email and updating twitter.
This vacation couldn’t have arrived at a better time. After feeling somewhat down and restless for the last little bit it’s a welcome and inspiring departure from the normalcy of life.