Somewhere in between determination, heart palpitations, lethargy and giddiness I stopped smoking cigarettes eleven days ago. Oddly enough I feel more level headed than I’ve felt in a long time, albeit a sleepy time.
I slept 16 hours per day during the first three days of the quit and sporadically puffed on a Nicorette Inhaler and on a nicotine-free electronic cigarette. I also thought about bookmarking a national directory of treatment centers on my browser in case I needed further help quitting.
The constant dizziness from quitting didn’t subside until day four and it’s still lingering today. And I can’t beleive the manufacturers of the Nicorette inhaler want you to use 12 cartridges per day! I’ve been using one per day since my quit and puffing on an electronic cigarette five to six times per day. And now, eleven days in, I’m weaning off both the Nicorette and the e-cig.
I’m not really sure what prompted me to stop smoking on November 19th, and can’t really say why I feel good or how come I haven’t gone crazy or regressed back into smoking again. I guess when the time is right you just do it and say frack off to everyone and everything else that gets in your way of completing the task at hand.
There are numerous reasons this quit is sticking…
It’s always funny after sleeping on it for one night how one’s problems begin to appear much smaller with the solutions to those problems becoming more apparent.
I spent the afternoon today digging out of yet another massive Maritime snow storm. I feel relieved after shovelling that 60 inch drift from the side walkway so that the house can be accessed easily again. Wind combined with snow do create mountains and valleys outside during a storm. The front walkway on the other hand had no snow on it at all, while the back deck had about 12 inches that needed to be removed. The car was clear while the driveway was half covered.
This is akin to how a brain can react to life conditions presented to it too. Continue reading
My mind has begun to play tricks on me. My mind can get pretty sick at times. The loneliness and social withdrawal keep me stuck in this infinite loop of stopping and starting only to stop and start once again.
I need to ask your permission to write freely on this blog
for a while indefinitely without being judged or being harassed for being an addict. I began this blog almost five years ago in search of an escape from addiction and the mental afflictions that seem to envelope the core of my soul only to have it turn into a tame, almost socially acceptable version of myself. I am far from socially acceptable in societies eyes… my eyes. Continue reading