Tag Archives: writing

It’s 2013 and the beginnings of chunky marmelade

Chunky Orange Lemon Marmelade

When you haven’t written in so long it’s easier to keep on not writing. But, in the back of your mind, the words and letters keep churning and jumbling up and into empty space until you get them written down in a tangible form. While I have been drawing pictures, it’s the words that weren’t making sense to me and therefore I did not write.

These last six months have been nothing but life changing. I haven’t found God or anything like that but I have found the courage to live more honestly and to trust in those people whom, let me, into their lives. You can’t help but wonder how you could have lived the way you did for such a long time repeating gesture after gesture after ever after.

There is solace in repetitive movement and even in the the state of inaction… the ticks, the drinks, the inhalations, the thoughts, the running, the drawing, the writing, the eating, the frantic screaming, it all soothes anxiety and mends the hearts of troubled souls irregardless of how temporary or destructive in nature this self-soothing may be. We can only go on circling for so long in a state of chaos before spinning out.

So, last night I made some chunky orange lemon marmelade from scratch. That sums up my everything.

Happy 2013!

AND FYI… Handmade 2013 desk and wall calendars are listed for sale in the shop.

The Marmelade recipe I adapted from the Mad Scientist and home Cooking. Also, I used an extra amount or orange peelings that I have been freezing over the last few months. If you are going to make marmalade DO USE certified organic citrus fruit as the peelings are not sprayed or died.

The Cathedral

mandala, markers, fabriano quadrato artist journal, jessica doyle art, drawing, ink, sketchbook, sketch, pen

A short fictional story…

A simple handshake made her heart flutter… made her exhale and unable to inhale and she hasn’t been quite the same since.

On Christmas Eve everything changed. I felt electricity flowing when I turned and shook your hand and wished you Merry Christmas near the end of Mass. I haven’t been the same since. That ‘flutter’ still exists. I still didn’t know who you were. I don’t believe this has ever happened before to me.

And then you shot around the pew that separated us as the congregation stood to form lines to receive the sacrement. I couldn’t help but smile and talk to you. I know it was church and that you are not supposed to talk but your smile made me melt and your eyes mirrored what I felt. It was so cliché that I asked what your name was saying that you look familiar and did we attend high school together?

I felt blood rush to my head and nothing else existed but your smile, your face, your bright shining eyes your and second handshake upon introducing yourself while I introduced myself to you. My nerves exploded.

And we did attend high school together. We were in law class together.

You told me you worked in Alberta at the tar sands and that you had a house on the Old Rothesay Road.

I told you I bought a house over East and that I was an artist. You asked if that was hard and I said “At times” but that I rent rooms too, to supplement my income.

We walked down the length of the pew and joined the moving throngs of Catholics in the central main aisle to receive the sacrement. I wanted to keep talking… I wanted to hold your hand… wanted to scream I like you… wanted to put words to what I was feeling inside.

You had said that you likely wouldn’t be attending the 20th high school reunion but that you might attend the 25th in 2016.

I walked back to the pew after communion and the heat creeping over my body was almost more than I could endure, while kneeling to pray. When I rose to sit you were still kneeling behind me. I could barely breath. The rushes never stopped. Then the congregation rose to sing the processional hymn Silent Night. I’m singing and thinking that I need you! How do I get in touch with you.

When people began to leave the service and began talking amongst each other I turned to you and dug out a business card and gave it to you as you said you weren’t on Facebook. My folk’s were leaving and I had to go with them. I walked slowly from the church and then outside into the frigid Winter air darting my eyes to see if I could catch another glimpse of you. I didn’t see you. My mind wrestless with thoughts. Is he married? Is he single? I can’t believe I dug out a business card in church and gave it to a man.

mandala, markers, fabriano quadrato artist journal, jessica doyle art, drawing, ink, pen

I climbed into the back seat of the car while dad climbed into the front. We waited for mom. Then you walked in front of the car, crossed over and got into the drivers side of a beige pick-up truck, alone and sat there staring across at the headlights of the car I was in. And I stared back at the dark truck you were in. I wanted to jump out and run over to you. All I could do was stare and hope that you’d contact me via my website contact page as there was no phone number listed on the business card that I had given you earlier.

A star from fell from the sky that night after mass while she stood on the backyard deck around midnight.

Christmas Eve came and went.

I drew the pen marker drawing inside a Fabriano Quadrato Artist Journal on the 23rd of December while thinking about skyscrapers and how humans are stacked one on top of the other within them and how it’s better to live on the upper most floors where the street noise is faint and water and sewer pipes are not continuously flowing within the walls.

About me – a list of 130 things

Jessica Doyle

To compliment the 130 things about the man I want in my life,

  1. I am creatively particular.
  2. I prefer Mac to PC.
  3. I am more anxious than depressed.
  4. I am hopeful.
  5. I am lead by emotion.
  6. I can see the other side.
  7. I am allergic to scented products and some pollens.
  8. I am severely allergic to dust.
  9. I take antihistamine a lot from April to May and again from August to October.
  10. I beleive in natural remedies but do not discount modern Western style medicine.
  11. I am small breasted.
  12. I have strong shapely legs.
  13. I don’t mind getting messy.
  14. I like doing dishes.
  15. I love growing food.
  16. I may have hypothryroidism (waiting on the second round of blood tests).
  17. I weigh 128lbs to 135lbs.
  18. I am 5’5″.
  19. I spend more on art supplies than I do on clothing in a year’s time.
  20. I use those art supplies daily.
  21. I prefer cats to dogs.
  22. I can not eat fast food.
  23. I will try anything twice.
  24. I had Chron’s disease in my mid-twenties.
  25. I have a long 9″ scar on my stomach from Chron’s surgery.
  26. I have been in remission ever since the surgery, 13 years and counting.
  27. I believe in mind over matter.
  28. I believe in love.
  29. I have had my heart broken more than once.
  30. I have blue-green eyes that turn grey when I’m sad.
  31. I was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type at age 33.
  32. I do not take anything for it.
  33. I changed my lifestyle drastically at age 32.
  34. I do not work at a regular 9 to 5 job.
  35. I divorced at age 29.
  36. I do not have children but am open to the idea of having one or two.
  37. I have lived in three different cities.
  38. I pay attention to detail.
  39. I get hung up on the detail.
  40. I bounce from one thing to another.
  41. I have trouble grounding myself.
  42. I turned 37 today.
  43. I am a smoker who wants to quit and is finding it difficult.
  44. I do not smoke inside.
  45. I struggle at times to earn enough money and at other times earn more than enough.
  46. I own my own home.
  47. I own a 2000 Toyota Corola LE that only has 94,000 clicks on it.
  48. I walk on my tip toes sometimes, especially in bare feet.
  49. I love the ocean.
  50. I like trees.
  51. I love walking anywhere.
  52. I have mild trichotilomania.
  53. I take a size 4 to 8 or XS to M depending on the clothing manufacturer.
  54. I hate malls.
  55. I like to touch nipples and hairy chests on men.
  56. I love my family and close friends.
  57. I am secretive.
  58. I know how to mow the lawn and shovel snow.
  59. I am not afraid of hard physical work.
  60. I am good at solving problems.
  61. I can hammer a nail and own a few tool boxes.
  62. I can build things online.
  63. I can build things offline.
  64. I know what WordPress is.
  65. I often feel misunderstood.
  66. I am an introvert.
  67. I enjoy working at home.
  68. I am a landlord and rent rooms in this home to workers and students.
  69. I take aciddophus and bifidus daily.
  70. I take calcium and vitamin D daily.
  71. I am honest and most sincere with that honesty.
  72. I will not lie to you.
  73. I like flirting.
  74. I enjoy sex.
  75. I day dream.
  76. I eat many small meals per day.
  77. I like the idea of home schooling.
  78. I have never owned a cell phone, smart phone or other miniature mobile device.
  79. I would like to own an iPhone.
  80. I love Science Fiction.
  81. I have trouble learning spread sheets.
  82. I love colours.
  83. I don’t like striped clothing.
  84. I have trouble sticking to a routine.
  85. I am happy.
  86. I am deviant.
  87. I have taken substances in the past to enlighten my mind.
  88. I beleive in God or that higher power that connects us all.
  89. I get angry at politics.
  90. I get angry at outdated laws.
  91. I am not my blog.
  92. I try to see both sides.
  93. I can catch people in lies and do call them out on it.
  94. I dislike ignorance.
  95. I sleep 7 to 10 hours per day.
  96. I sleep with ear plugs.
  97. I have acute hearing and excellent eye sight.
  98. I am sensitive and take things to heart.
  99. I love when someone can keep my attention for longer than 10 minutes.
  100. I dream of traveling.
  101. I do not have a passport.
  102. I am afraid of crossing international borders especially into the United States.
  103. I love snow storms.
  104. I get excited.
  105. I like electronic and beautiful inspiring music but have trouble choosing it and prefer suggestions.
  106. I get busy.
  107. I get overwhelmed.
  108. I will try to repair first before buying something new.
  109. I love being lead sometimes.
  110. I have long fingers.
  111. I have hundreds of freckles than join together in the summertime.
  112. I beleive in taking ownership of one’s life and actions.
  113. I love blankets, puffs and quilts.
  114. I love paper.
  115. I love pens, watercolour, coloured pencils and acrylic.
  116. I go through an average one pen per week.
  117. I recycle.
  118. I choose organic when I can afford to.
  119. I love one on one.
  120. I like small get togethers and pot lucks.
  121. I love being amazed by grandiose things.
  122. I am secure with who I am.
  123. I do not like head games.
  124. I have trouble with spelling and grammar ever since studying French as a second language in Middle and High School and am thankful for spell check.
  125. I am not your mother.
  126. I do not like Yoga.
  127. I remember visually.
  128. I am not in debt and pay my bills on time.
  129. I am a scorpio.
  130. I am…
  131. Well there you have it folks. I may add this to my about page and link each item to a relevant post.

    If i sound like someone you are interested in do get in touch by emailing eastvanesica (AT) gmail DOT com.

Handwriting is a lost art form or why I’m glad I learned to dot my I’s and cross my T’s

Vintage Spelling Test Book - 1981 - Jessica Doyle

So, I hand write letters to people and post them in the mail and rarely seem to receive a letter in return. And that’s OK. Perhaps, I’m one of the last hand writers left on earth. My grandmother used to write me back though. But she passed away a couple of years ago. Her handwriting was elegant and old style and it made me smile when I opened a letter from her to read. And, I notice as the years progress my own mother’s cursive handwriting is taking on that same scrolling form as is my own.

I tend to print in all caps though, and avoid cursive, as it’s slower to create and more cumbersome to lay down. My own handwriting is fast and deliberate; the letters flow seamlessly into one and other first forming sentences then paragraphs and pages and hence, volumes of journals.

While I lived in Vancouver from 2001 to 2005 the only medium I used was ink; more specifically Pilot G-tec C4 pens. I settled on that pen for writing after trying out a stupendous amount of pen brands. I spent that four years of my life purposefully writing and drawing in only ink. I wanted to eliminate the use of pencil and become adept at using only pen and ink on paper. At it’s height, it was all consuming; and emptying dry on average two pens per week. That is a lot of writing and drawing in this day and age.
Continue reading

Complications in life rant balanced out with some positive notes and drawings

It began a few weeks ago as simply a feeling of being tired and overwhelmed. Then it progressed into exhaustion and not being able to keep up with myself or rather do all the things I wanted no needed to do. After a week or so a slight sore throat developed and that too went away but the tiredness remained.

Usually a day or two before a sickness takes a real hold of me I tend to get this adrenaline rush and feel so physically awesome running around and do so much in such a short period of time like today is the last day that I’ll ever be alive and everything I ever wanted to do must be done now! Sadly, deep down inside on that day I know that I’m going to crash pretty hard and boy the crash has been long winded this time around.
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Traffic noise amidst the winds of change

The life was sucked out of me on 12th Avenue. The incessant traffic noise I wrote about on more than one occasion in my journal. It didn’t ebb and flow there but rather marched no cannon balled and madly screamed back and forth along that magnificent tree lined East Vancouver Street.

I remember mere moments of stillness when the traffic did stop for a light or for a pedestrian brave enough to cross through Continue reading

Employee of the Month – my Mom

UPDATE – Mom just frantically phoned and informed me that it is not employee of the month but a monthly “Choosing your Attitude” and that there are three people per month chosen for this because of their great attitude. I still like to think of it as employee of the month though!

Well, I need to say how proud I am of my Mother over the last few months and how thankful I am that she is in my life.

She was nominated for employee of the month where she works and this is her month! There are over 1000 people who are employed in her office; this is a huge honor for her!

Each month, whomever is nominated and chosen is given a ceiling tile to paint and is also asked to write something that means something to them. The ceiling tile is framed for one month and placed in a prominent area for all employees to see along with the write-up and a photo of the employee. After the month is up the ceiling tile is placed into the ceiling with the other tiles from employee of the months’ gone by.

These are her words and above is her painting:

Attitude

Someone said to me one time
‘It takes one to know one’
so to the person who nominated me, ‘right back at you’.

What we see in another is a reflection of ourselves.

It’s All About Attitude……..Wow, so true,
and we’re all learners.

I have to get up about two and a half hours before my shift starts in order to
psych myself up to come in here to work.

No, not really,
however, I do like to see day break when the sun comes up AND
I also love to see a beautiful sunset.

It’s not for us to fully understand the whys of all our life’s circumstances,
but for sure I need all of you in my life right now or I would not be here. It’s that simple.

It’s an amazing journey and I love it.
We are all part of this humongous mosaic and it’s really quite extraordinary
so I choose to just enjoy being a part of it. When the time comes to move on and it will,
so be it.

There are frustrating times, but those are challenges for me to overcome somehow,
and from which I can choose to learn and grow.
There are sad times and happy times, each with it’s own blessings,
both of which I continue to appreciate as the years go by.

My encounters with another human being each day are precious moments
and just a tiny glimpse into someone else’s life.
These contacts are given to me. If perhaps someone has a frown one day,
I try to remember to look beyond and deeper,
because I’ve been there too or it could be me in their shoes,
like the song ‘Rainy Day People’ by Gordon Lightfoot.

Louella

I love you Mom and congratulations! xoxo

Words and painting in this blog post are copyright protected © 2010