Artists Riddle

Having recently begun uploading images to Terminus1525 after a one year hiatus from the site, I realized over the past few days that I crave interaction of the virtual kind. Any artist I believe wants attention to their work… deep down inside I you know you do; even just to see your number of views on a certain piece or stats on your webpage go up.

Last week I asked a question in a forum. I recieved an answer. The solution worked. I smiled. I replied thank you. This week I commented on various artists works. I was scared. I did it because I wanted to. I needed to. I know how it feels to recieve a compliment, insight or criticism on a piece of artwork, poem or article. The only thing I feared was fear itself. I was honest in my postings and when commenting or asking. Through honesty one achieves insight and truth.

In the past though, I would slug off comments whether good or bad. I didn’t quite know how to digest them or further more actually respond to them. Fear of the unkown persisted within my being for quite some time. I coped the best I could, alone. I drew. I painted. I pulled my hair out. I scratched at my skin. I wrote. I talked too much or not at all.

Sitting here sober (231 days) writing this, clear in mind, is a foreign concept to me. Grasping it, holding onto it tightly, I would in the past so much so that I became addicted to the feeling of calm. Anything and everything existed spiraling around in my mind. Ideas came and went. If, by chance I happened to grab one I choked it out the best I could. What a riddle my mind had become.

Could it be the meds? Could it be I’m growing up? Could it be acceptance that there are many possible solutions to an idea? It could be the web is a place where I exist amongst a million others. It does not replace physical human interaction. It offers another form of virtual interaction. There is an immediacy to the web.

The web has opened a unique portal in the human landscape. Through the sharing of ideas, though different or similar, the human race will endure this new riddle.

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