In relationship to what

In relationship to what? - Jessica DoyleToday sadness aurrounds my aura. Never before have I had the ability to communicate with so many people. It can be overwhelming at times to the senses. And in so saying that I have come to believe that we are all more alike on this planet than many do not acknowledge or simply do not understand.

During the past couple of days I have become witness to atrocities beyond my understanding. No, perhaps that isn’t the right way to write it. These attrocites are so inhuman that all I can do is pray.

I write, read, watch, listen and touch all that surrounds me. Now this surrounding physical landscape has evolved into a digital realtime landscape of interaction. However I cannot touch it physically; only through words, paintings, comments and possibly sound and video in the near future can make contact through. I have this site. It is but one piece of a much larger discussion going on in the blogosphere. I honestly can say I love doing what I do right now, even when things become too much for my pschi to handle. When it becomes to much I have learned to react instinctively, emotionally and honestly.

Maybe I just need a hug?

Physical contact seems a rarity for me lately. I don’t travel to downtown Van anymore. It has become a wasteland of all that is new and shiny and costs money. I don’t have much money. My account reads $6.43. I’m a little bit scared. This is what I want to do. I want to write on this blog. I would love to contribute to another blog. I wish someone could sponsor my blog or make prints of my artwork to sell. I am asking for help please?

Do you ever step outside your own boundaries? Do you ever challenge yourself? This is what I am doing. Some may call this agoraphobia. I think a lot of it though has to do with money. When you earn no money people seem to not to respect what you do in some way. They ask you “What are you going to with your life?” “You need to find work!” “You need an income!” FUCK!

I’m not in this for the money. Believe me. But in this world having a voice means sometimes not being heard. And when you are not heard no money seems to flow. And when no money seems to flow the physical world becomes smaller and smaller.

I do the best I can in realationship to what I do.

I don’t have money but I do have art, stuff and some talent all rolled into to quote Mike: my own very bizarro world. This post may seem odd to those who just stepped in here. I ask you to go and read what has been posted over at this blog. Click on bizzaro world and it will direct you to the proper post. All this discussion all began here from this post on my blog.

I look forward to meeting these dudes at WordPress Camp as long as I can somehow get to San Francisco. It will be nice to talk with the developpers, programmers, writers, creators and artists and hopefully colaborate on creating and learning from eachother.

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6 thoughts on “In relationship to what”

  1. Jessica–

    Really a very beautiful heartfelt bit of writing here. Don’t worry about meeting Mike at WordCamp. He won’t be there. He’s really aggressive-like but I like him cause he reads my blog and comments alot and tends to be a lightning rod for debate.

    But for you? Chin up. It’ll all be alright. :)


  2. Jessica,

    Beautiful art and nice words, but nice will not stop the killing… I like Aaron because he’s a very smart guy who has an ability to write well and bring out the best in me… Good luck in your life, but try to see reality…

  3. I’m glad you guys like eachother. Now that makes me happy 😉

    Everyone’s reality is different from everyone elses. Not any one of us is right or wrong.

    LOL- I get the chin-up thing quite a bit when I get down and resort to OMG, being nice. Nice may not stop the killing however nice never killed anyone.

    You two both have caused me to think. How can I be mad at that. I’m not. Being mad and sad are two different things and then throw in a creative mind and WAMMI you will get a torent of honest, heartfelt emotional bliss. I feel no shame in having cried or being sad and unfocused today.

    We as human beings are taught to focus and that having ofcus on just one thing is the only way to live. I like to focus on a plethora of ideas and realities and then create, learning, delving deeper into connections that DO in fact tie us all together.

    If blogging has done anything for me it has given me courage to be just whom I am. I entered a discussion with you both I was frightened of commenting on. I did it though because there are more views of sensitive people that need to be heard. We tend to keep quiet and bottle it up all inside however I believe many of us are turning to blogging to learn and grow. We are the artists of the world. And we need YOU just as much as you need US.

    It is nice to know I am not alone, even though we may disagree on some things we can agree on one thing – we are all human 😉

  4. Hey Jessica, I have been feeling that hot all year. Right now I’m in Montreal, but I am moving to Vancouver in September. Somewhat exciting. Somewhat worrying.

    I’m looking forward to being on the pacific coast and making my way down to see some buddies in San Fran or San Diego.

    I just want to be able to do what I love, and that isn’t always easy, especially after a few years working in finance and getting somewhat disillusioned.

  5. Lou – thank you 😉

    Range – It’s rather interesting to see how many people actually move from coast to coast in Canada. It is wonderful here 😉 It does come down to doing what you love to do. Working in finance sounds a little scary to me. Glad to see you will be chasing your dreams here on the West coast soon.


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