The morning after the collapse

After seven hours sleep I feel ok. I just woke up about 20 minutes ago and it is the first time in a while I didn’t wake up panicked. I keep reassuring myself there is no shame in honesty; none. Before I went to sleep last night I felt fear and a sense of calm; a sense of peace. One of the things about urges and triggers is to get away from them, do something else and the urge will pass. I feel doing the same during an anxiety attack helps also. Whatever last night was, is not now. I am still Jessica and I am alive.

I want to thank my blog today. When I use this blog to share, kindness tends to present itself. It is a place where I can write out my struggles, my thoughts and create art. I’m learning that I am not so different from anyone else.

My mom used to say growing up “just put it out there“, “give it to god” and “let it go“. There are times when this seems impossible. Life only seems impossible at times. Saying “NO” and asking people to respect your boundaries is as heavy as a mountain to say. Setting my boundaries has begun anew today.

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5 thoughts on “The morning after the collapse”

  1. congratulations, jessica.

    i so wanted to comment on this and thought several times against it for fear of invading on your privacy., i hope i’m not. i just wanted to cheer you on ( as a recovering addict myself ) and let you know that i think you’re doing great :)

    happy new year!
    take care,

  2. Thank you for commenting on the topic of addiction. I welcome conversation on siad topic :). It lets me know I am not alone.

    Happy New Year Poppycock!

    I made it through safe and sound. Spent some time with friends here my apartment New Year’s eve.


  3. I’m glad to hear that your holidays were safe and enjoyable. The best way to enjoy then is with your friends and family. I can’t say that I can understand your fight with addiction as I luckily am not one, but keep it up. We want to keep seeing you around here :)

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