Complications in life rant balanced out with some positive notes and drawings

It began a few weeks ago as simply a feeling of being tired and overwhelmed. Then it progressed into exhaustion and not being able to keep up with myself or rather do all the things I wanted no needed to do. After a week or so a slight sore throat developed and that too went away but the tiredness remained.

Usually a day or two before a sickness takes a real hold of me I tend to get this adrenaline rush and feel so physically awesome running around and do so much in such a short period of time like today is the last day that I’ll ever be alive and everything I ever wanted to do must be done now! Sadly, deep down inside on that day I know that I’m going to crash pretty hard and boy the crash has been long winded this time around.

Life to, recently got complicated with the learning of Google Buzz, the quitting and reopening of my Etsy art shop, the planning and researching of the possibilities to open my own shop hosted on my own secret new domain, the dating of a new guy, the being in love with someone from another country with whom I’ll likely never meet, the housekeeping of home and renting of rooms, the buying of a new car, the incessant requests for free or nearly free custom work with that latter one being the most insulting of all. And the search for friends in the real world with whom I connect as well with, as those friends that I have online.

Twitter st. patricks day sick green snot mucous

So I sit here sick, with sinus and chest congestion, coughing and blowing my nose with a general malaise surrounding me. bleck.

But rather than focus on the complications I’ll note some positive correlations to balance out the karma. Out of the 40 or so requests for custom work that I receive during a month usually two are legitimate requests from wonderful people who understand that I will not work for $2 an hour and that I will not illustrate a children’s book for your daughter out of the goodness of my heart. Do you know how long those things take to draw? Weeks. Not hours. Months! OK, there’s that pent up rage again.

Fabriano Quadrato Artist Journal ink and marker Drawing by artist Jessica Doyle

And it’s not all about the money as I’ve donated many artworks and prints to charities over the years and share my knowledge freely with you online and do not ask for a dime in return. I enjoy blogging and talking with you on Twitter, Facebook and Buzz but I do need to draw the line at times when it comes to overextending myself.

I’m not really up for dating and I’m certain the man I’m dating is reading this but right now it’s just not working in the romance department and that could be because I’m sick. In the friendship and hanging out department it’s OK. And therein lies the problem. I’m public. I’ve lost more male facebook friends than I care to count. When they realize I’m not interested they suddenly disappear from commenting on my blog and facebook stream; the emails dry up and I never hear from them again. And truth be told that’s fine with me. If you can’t take that I blog, I facebook, tweet, buzz, say things that everyone one else only thinks but doesn’t have the courage to say then by all means delete me from your friends. You are not worthy of my time.

And that may sound harsh but in real life would you hang out with someone who simply berates you, only wants to use you and who is repeatedly negative? You wouldn’t talk to them in real life and it’s no different online.

So, yes I am feeling mentally retarded but giddy at the moment and unable to concentrate at my fullest. But I’m laughing which in turn makes me cough ’cause what else can one do when one is sick with a sickness that she gets usually twice a year in both February-March and September-October. And throughout it all I’ve been drawing and working on some fabulous custom work for those two fabulous clients and that man I’ve been dating is a super nice guy and truth be told in the end if nothing serious develops I know we will remain friends because we do connect on a friendship level and that is just nice.

…and the worst thing of all is that I’m out of AA batteries to run my Magic Mouse with.

I drew Complications with Faber Castell Pitt Artist Pens, Pilot Hi Tec C pens and La Plume II Markers inside a Fabriano Quadrato Artist Journal.

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22 thoughts on “Complications in life rant balanced out with some positive notes and drawings”

  1. I feel your pain! I too feel like crap at the moment! This cold has hit me hard too. But I love the drawing in the post! I can see you take lots of time on your artwork. Non artists just don’t realize how much time it takes to create one work of art, not counting the supplies and other expenses. But many do appreciate your art and the time you put into it. Hope you get to feeling better soon. You are blessed with a talent and I, for one, enjoy it. One of these days, I plan to own one of your little gems. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Jessica, I appreciate your honesty and willingness to say the things the rest of us are thinking. I’m totally with you on that. The reason my blog is full of images is that I’m not going to speak up on my blog and not tell the truth. Until I’m ready to do that, I’ll keep posting photos and videos I like. “To thine own self be true.”

  3. Honesty, full transparency and your beautiful art are the reasons why I keep reading and enjoying your posts ! Hope you feel better soon kiddo : D

    slawoszewski (at) yahoo (dot)com

  4. Oh Jessica, I love reading your blog and I feel your pain, literally. I have the congestion, constant coughing, sniffling, sneezing, oh why does my body feel like a tanker, sort of feeling.

    To make matters worse, it’s about 65 degees today- a welcome relief from the cold and snow and here I am reduced to coughing up a lung.

    I love your art and I love that you share all your artistic secrets.

  5. Despite my limitations in writing English, I must say that I really enjoyed reading this post. I’m like you, with a strong crisis of sinusitis and is very hard to do everything with the same energy. I love your work and your art. I admire how you can do so much and be connected. better days will come and you are certainly on the right road.

  6. yeah, well, you know I think you rock. Lately, Tara & I have been feeling exhausted and overwhelmed with all of the stuff we need to do too. I think a lot of people have been feeling it. Can’t speak for my wife, but for me, taking it all in, it all seems to balance out–except that all of it has been heightened–more intense, and moving fast! Barely able to keep up. All-in-all, I feel really good about the insanity, although if I think too much about it, I could get overwhelmed. So I just do what I need to do that day and keep moving, and do my best to get the sleep I need, get outside for a while & work in the earth–dig holes or something. lol I still need to get a massage though.

    My point in all of that is, I think I can relate. Sounds to me like you’re doing alright. Maybe it is Pisces New Moon. Or the vibe of the whole year…

  7. Seems many people around the world are sick with a virus. I hope you feel better soon Beth. I’m on the mend with just a dry cough and slight stuffy nose remaining. Thanks for your kind words :)

  8. I was very grateful to have that little car last week as walking was tiresome from being sick. It was nice to be able to hop into the car to do the few errands that need to be done. I heart you to sweetie!

  9. “To thine own self be true.”

    That says it right there. I post only images at times to. Sometimes words can’t explain feelings, experiences or emotions as well as paint and ink on paper can.

  10. Thank you for reading! I’m happy you like them and thanks for the well wishes!

  11. Hey Jessica,
    I think that if you do feel overextended, you should cut down on the social networking. I have done so and it’s worked well for me. I only blog and tweet, as well as check my email a few times a day. That’s it. I rarely Buzz or FB anymore. At a certain point in the day, I turn off my tabs for tweeting and my feeds.

    I also have some customers that have trouble understanding that I run a business and that I can’t cater to their every whim.

    I can also understand your woes with opening your own online shop. I’m trying to do so as well, and have been disappointed with what I’ve found. The one that I have up now is going to run out, because it was just for a month to test it out.

    Anyway, as usual, love the art and hope you feel better soon!

  12. I hear you on the social networking range… i’m longing for the ability of comments to show cross-platform at the same time using the salmon protocol. i’m looking forward to the day when Buzz, facebook and Twitter conversation about a blog post of mine show up just below a blog post I put up. I read about Echo a few days ago and that service seems to be the first one to tackle the issue for content creators.

    I like Buzz but again it takes the conversation away from my blog and Facebook, well not sure what to do about it. And Twitter I find Twitter the most difficult to have a conversation on out of them all.

    I just finished up a large custom order yesterday and feel I’m due for a break this weekend. I’ll be going to the theatre on Saturday night and today I plan to just do some painting with good old fashioned acrylic.

    Thanks my friend for your words of wisdom :)

  13. Andrew, I’m looking forward to gardening season. the snow is melted here already and the ground is hardening up earlier than usual. i’ll be putting in a garden bed in the backyard this year and honestly can’t wait to be digging in the dirt!

    I can’t dig holes yet but can go out and pick up all the garbage that always seems to appear everywhere after Wintertime. The sun is shining again today and that in itself makes me feel happy :)

  14. Jessica – I’m commenting here, so it’s here WITH your blog post, rather than on Buzz, since that seems to be a concern. I hear you on that one. I choose not to focus on it too much, as comments in different places sometimes lead to different experiences than I might find if everyone commented actually on my blog. Except that sometimes I worry that someone looking at my blog for the first time may think I am a Johnny No-Friends. Oh well.

    I hope you feel better, and less stressed soon. I hope your dating dilemmas sort themselves out.

    Focus on the positive, I always say. At least you have the opportunity to express yourself through your art. It might not always put food on the table, though I suspect you’ll find things gradually improving on that front (I’m sure your requests for freebies will *increase* too – you just have to learn to work with what you’re comfortable with). But there are many out there in the same situations who do not have a creative outlet for their feelings. Those are the people I feel most sorry for.

    Glass half-full, girl! :)

  15. Jessica – I just wanted to say that this was a wonderful post. It is so nice to read something that is so honest and translates to what many of us might be thinking but all too often don’t articulate.

  16. I hope you are feeling better soon. Regarding your colds, do a Linga Mudra exercise or Varun Mudra it will drive away cold from your body. If you have a chance read Dhammapada, it is a great book it will answer lot of your problems you are facing through. Cheers.

  17. I feel your pain actually. I got a full blown cold on Sunday/Monday with fever dreams. I am also blowing my nose to smithereens and it seems that I have a head cold. I feel stuffed out and it’s 25C outside in Taiwan.

    Yep, I agree with you about the commenting thing, across platforms. I just don’t like Facebook anymore, so I barely log in once every 3 months or so.

    I like Twitter a lot and since I don’t follow that many people, it never gets overwhelming.

    There comes a time when everything needs to be shut down and you need to focus on what you are doing.

    BTW, I canceled my GoDaddy online shop. A few friends are helping me with the e-commerce infrastructure so that it looks like I want it to look, not just thrown together.

    Since the end of February, I started journaling again using the MS Color-a-Month that you’ll be getting quite soon. They are cute and small, and easy to do, but they leave you wanting more, which is why I started a webbie from Rhodia last week as well as a Maruman Sketching block 130gsm that I had started a few years ago and not touched.

    I also found some old scans of my drawings and it made me realize how much I enjoyed drawing for fun. It’s very relaxing and it focuses the mind.

    Best wishes from Taipei.

  18. Hey range – feel better soon OK.

    i’m glad to hear you are drawing!

    i’m also working on setting up a shop and have decided to use WordPress as the software and an e-commerce theme (not a plugin) as the solution. I researched a gazillion different options for software from zencart to magento and found them to either be to robust or not able to offer both downloadable and tangible products.

    Send me your link when you get your shop up and going! :)

    PS – I took most of the weekend off from the computer and feel rejuvenated, i think we need to remind ourselves that the internet isn’t going anywhere and it’ll be here when we come back.

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