It began a few weeks ago as simply a feeling of being tired and overwhelmed. Then it progressed into exhaustion and not being able to keep up with myself or rather do all the things I wanted no needed to do. After a week or so a slight sore throat developed and that too went away but the tiredness remained.
Usually a day or two before a sickness takes a real hold of me I tend to get this adrenaline rush and feel so physically awesome running around and do so much in such a short period of time like today is the last day that I’ll ever be alive and everything I ever wanted to do must be done now! Sadly, deep down inside on that day I know that I’m going to crash pretty hard and boy the crash has been long winded this time around.
Life to, recently got complicated with the learning of Google Buzz, the quitting and reopening of my Etsy art shop, the planning and researching of the possibilities to open my own shop hosted on my own secret new domain, the dating of a new guy, the being in love with someone from another country with whom I’ll likely never meet, the housekeeping of home and renting of rooms, the buying of a new car, the incessant requests for free or nearly free custom work with that latter one being the most insulting of all. And the search for friends in the real world with whom I connect as well with, as those friends that I have online.
But rather than focus on the complications I’ll note some positive correlations to balance out the karma. Out of the 40 or so requests for custom work that I receive during a month usually two are legitimate requests from wonderful people who understand that I will not work for $2 an hour and that I will not illustrate a children’s book for your daughter out of the goodness of my heart. Do you know how long those things take to draw? Weeks. Not hours. Months! OK, there’s that pent up rage again.
And it’s not all about the money as I’ve donated many artworks and prints to charities over the years and share my knowledge freely with you online and do not ask for a dime in return. I enjoy blogging and talking with you on Twitter, Facebook and Buzz but I do need to draw the line at times when it comes to overextending myself.
I’m not really up for dating and I’m certain the man I’m dating is reading this but right now it’s just not working in the romance department and that could be because I’m sick. In the friendship and hanging out department it’s OK. And therein lies the problem. I’m public. I’ve lost more male facebook friends than I care to count. When they realize I’m not interested they suddenly disappear from commenting on my blog and facebook stream; the emails dry up and I never hear from them again. And truth be told that’s fine with me. If you can’t take that I blog, I facebook, tweet, buzz, say things that everyone one else only thinks but doesn’t have the courage to say then by all means delete me from your friends. You are not worthy of my time.
And that may sound harsh but in real life would you hang out with someone who simply berates you, only wants to use you and who is repeatedly negative? You wouldn’t talk to them in real life and it’s no different online.
So, yes I am feeling mentally retarded but giddy at the moment and unable to concentrate at my fullest. But I’m laughing which in turn makes me cough ’cause what else can one do when one is sick with a sickness that she gets usually twice a year in both February-March and September-October. And throughout it all I’ve been drawing and working on some fabulous custom work for those two fabulous clients and that man I’ve been dating is a super nice guy and truth be told in the end if nothing serious develops I know we will remain friends because we do connect on a friendship level and that is just nice.
…and the worst thing of all is that I’m out of AA batteries to run my Magic Mouse with.
I drew Complications with Faber Castell Pitt Artist Pens, Pilot Hi Tec C pens and La Plume II Markers inside a Fabriano Quadrato Artist Journal.