What I’m looking for in a man list

Jessica Doyle artist

It’s been suggested a few times that I sit down and write out what I’m looking for in a man. I’ve done this with jobs, dreams and other life altering events and thus far the track record of the results has been very good. But I’ve never taken this approach to finding a partner. Perhaps you are the man I’m looking for?

  1. You are intelligent.
  2. You prefer Mac to PC.
  3. You are a geek.
  4. You are not a nerd, but a geek. And you are passionate about it.
  5. You believe in the future, live in the present and learn from your past.
  6. You are grounded with no current severe addictions, afflictions of the heart or mental instabilities that need prompt medical attention.
  7. You have no children but are open to the idea of having a child or maybe two.
  8. You love your job, career or calling and thrive on it.
  9. You are not in debt (save for your rent, mortgage and/or car payments) and pay your current bills on time.
  10. You love family and close friends.
  11. You are not a social butterfly that needs to be entertained hourly by other people.
  12. You can spell and love the intricacies of language.
  13. You enjoy silence and it doesn’t freak you out.
  14. You are good with your hands.
  15. You don’t mind getting them dirty.
  16. You listen well.
  17. You enjoy cooking.
  18. You are clean.
  19. You are not overweight.
  20. You are at or above 5’10”.
  21. You know what a blog is and perhaps have one yourself.
  22. You prefer slow cooking to fast food.
  23. You actually loathe fast food.
  24. You are a non smoker.
  25. You can read between the lines.
  26. You are a sexual creature and are well endowed.
  27. You are perhaps a Pisces, Cancer or Capricorn.
  28. You believe in Magic.
  29. You are creative and can think outside of the box while jumping up and down on it to smush those outdated beliefs.
  30. You like gardening.
  31. You believe your home is your sanctuary.
  32. Your home can be anywhere.
  33. You do not need to own the latest fashions or gadgets to feel good about yourself.
  34. You are honest with your emotions but don’t wear them on your sleeve.
  35. You believe in talking it out rather than walking away.
  36. You own up to your mistakes.
  37. You believe in mother earth.
  38. You treat people with kindness.
  39. You prefer ambient beats, house music or even the odd techno blip or live band to country, rap or top 40.
  40. You are between the age of 37 and 42.
  41. You know what HTML is.
  42. You know how to use a hammer.
  43. You look at the person you are talking to.
  44. You are more anxious than depressed.
  45. You can laugh.
  46. You can make me laugh.
  47. You know the difference between hugging and getting it on.
  48. You like pens that click and have awesome ink flow.
  49. You don’t snore.
  50. You flirt.
  51. You have faith in humanity.
  52. You have beautiful eyes and decent teeth.
  53. You believe there is a solution to any problem and work to resolve differences or in the least agree to disagree.
  54. You like walking outside.
  55. You aren’t ashamed of your past.
  56. You have been in love maybe more than once.
  57. You have had your heart broken.
  58. You understand math.
  59. You have healthy habits and even some quirky one’s that you are working on.
  60. You stand up for yourself.
  61. You encourage but do not enable.
  62. You are not afraid of colour.
  63. You love anomalies.
  64. You’ve consumed drugs in the past to enlighten yourself.
  65. You prefer wine or cider to beer and cooler.
  66. You believe in quantum physics and have jumped into the rabbit hole on occasion.
  67. You believe we will live on another planet within a 100 years.
  68. You eat your vegetables and love them.
  69. You know what you like and what you don’t like and don’t lie about it.
  70. You like Fringe.
  71. You dislike Glee.
  72. You dislike hockey.
  73. You have a hairy chest and can grow a full beard.
  74. You do not wear cologne, perfume or use scented products.
  75. You have larger hands than me.
  76. You don’t dart your tongue like a jackhammer while kissing or hold it there and do nothing.
  77. You have full lips.
  78. You talk about things that interest you.
  79. You share your life experience openly.
  80. You don’t hide when things get tuff.
  81. You know when to call it quits.
  82. You aren’t that fond of wearing stripes.
  83. You hate malls.
  84. You can keep up with me and perhaps slow me down when needed.
  85. You like to be followed.
  86. You like taking the lead and put your hand out to do so without even asking if it’s OK.
  87. You talk with your actions.
  88. You are a man!
  89. You like fruit.
  90. You like fish, chicken and other meats but do believe in vegetarianism to.
  91. You buy second hand.
  92. You buy new when needed.
  93. You believe in handmade.
  94. You understand the law.
  95. You understand politics.
  96. You are gentle but strong.
  97. You like your nipples touched.
  98. You like to touch nipples.
  99. You can take or leave floor play.
  100. You can keep it up.
  101. You are not married.
  102. You are not recently separated.
  103. You like gallery openings.
  104. You like dancing.
  105. You like trees.
  106. You like architecture.
  107. You love the ocean and swimming it.
  108. You like sand.
  109. You have a hobby.
  110. You can build things in real life.
  111. You can build things online too.
  112. You inspire me.
  113. You like Tetris.
  114. You aren’t so much into violence unless you’re being attacked by a bear.
  115. You like lady bugs.
  116. You dislike hornets.
  117. You are not afraid of spiders.
  118. You are not afraid of the dark.
  119. You are not afraid of rain or fog.
  120. You might have allergies.
  121. You might have minor current health issues.
  122. You know that Facebook is not the internet.
  123. You earn enough money to support a family.
  124. You are creative and can solve problems.
  125. You are wordly.
  126. You have traveled.
  127. You can tell wonderful stories.
  128. You don’t mind repeating yourself.
  129. You aren’t scared to make the first move.
  130. You are…

That about sums it up folks. I pulled both the good and the bad from all my relationships and the above list is what I came up with for what I’m looking for in a man. If this is you, you can get in touch with me by emailing eastvanesica (AT) gmail DOT com.

Update – Many of the comments below are being imported from my Google Buzz feed. If you want to respond them go to Google Buzz.

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27 thoughts on “What I’m looking for in a man list”

  1. I love that you know what you want and what you don’t. I am constantly being inspired by you and this is just another one of those times.

  2. Well Jessica, I’ve read your list, and minus the parts about being a man, being unmarried, and the fact that I’m only 5’8″, I’d say we’re pretty damn near perfect for each other. 😉 (heh!)

    He’s out there. Probably looking for you. :)

  3. #130. You aren’t put off by women who make absolutely impossible 129-point wishlists? Best of luck; there will surely be pre-programmable androids available within your lifetime.

  4. this is wonderful. I love this and did it my self in a Dream Man drawing and it worked altho not the first time. But I believe that putting out there what you want not the don’ts, you will have your dreams come true. I really believe that Jessica.
    peace n abundance,
    ps listen to Laura C as well, she had my rollin’

  5. I’m actually as curatitorial as this with the partners I seek, but I keep it internal, and as woo-woo as it may sound, I truly believe that if you carry these wants & wishes around inside you, you’ll meet that person in the real world. It’s happened to me twice, to an uncanny degree. & while, honest to God, I’m 128 of those things to a tee (with the 129th being one of the only dealbreakers on the list) (and to be honest I’m not too sure that I’m not scared about making first moves), but boy howdy, would I feel self-conscious on a first date!

  6. 103 out of 130, I assume in # 99 that you mean “foreplay”, unless “floor play” is something new that I haven’t heard of ?

  7. LOL Floor play, couch play, kitchen table play… take it wherever you can get it! 😉

    This list was creative and amusing… hopefully when you find the right guy, some of these items might not seem as relevant anymore. It’s terribly hard to live up to someone’s ideal, and eventually he will disappoint you… if he snores.
    If he has allergies, he probably will. :)

  8. I love this Jessica! I think you can draw this person into your life absolutely- you may have to be flexible on a couple things- ha! I was comparing my hubby when I met him to your list and he had very few of these things then – he was only 21 – and needed to mellow a few years – I think you should expand his age a bit – a little younger and a little older. I am picturing this guy walking right into your life!


  9. Except for the penis references & the fact I’m not a lesbian (not that there’s anything wrong with that) it sounds like you’ve been looking for me…heehee & I’m Pisces! Wonderful heartfelt list!!

  10. #76 Hilarious!!

    I think that it is great, honest & brave to put what you really want in a mate out there. It shows that you are more than sure about who you are as a woman, to know exactly what you do want and don’t want.

  11. Wow Jessica great list! I love your list as a matter of fact…My boyfriend isn’t half those things and yet he still makes me happy and I’m crazy in love. That list is ideal just don’t make it your dating gospel. You really are an amazing inspiring woman. I hope love finds its way to you because you deserve it.

  12. Didn’t realise your Buzz post originated in a blog – but now I do. Didn’t realise you had a blog… and now I do… and what a fantastically wonderful blog it is :)

    Adding you to Google Reader immediately. Let the stalking commence hahaha (actually, it will be more a case of reading when I can, and commenting when I can, but I will try to keep up).

  13. all these things ,you can find it in islam .thanks allah i converted to islam and i found it ,so i wanna do it with my wife god willing ! i hope you the best !

  14. Wow you are messed up. I can think of only a few things I want in a guy. He’s caring loving makes me laugh is smart and has some nice looks and preferably a job. I like any guy who actually cares and ur asking 4 a perfect romeo. Oh yeah there is one thing that makes a guy perfect and that’s his love for God

  15.  I’m MOHAMMAD NAJMUL HASAN form Bangladesh.I’m looking for a serious
    relationship with a girl or woman who is older then me.I’m 21 years old,
    young, strong, honest and not very bad looking.I completed Diploma in
    Telecommunication Engineering(4 years). I’m a Network specialist too.Are
    you interested to me.Please replay me.Please….

  16.  I’m MOHAMMAD NAJMUL HASAN form Bangladesh.I’m looking for a serious
    relationship with a girl or woman who is older then me.I’m 21 years old,
    young, strong, honest and not very bad looking.I completed Diploma in
    Telecommunication Engineering(4 years). I’m a Network specialist too.Are
    you interested to me.Please replay me.Please…. My Email address is bosspublicbpo69@yahoo.com

  17. Well, that’s an impressively big list. Out of curiosity, what would you offer to this ‘perfect’ specimen of a man that would make your worth him?

    People are supposed to have imperfections; it makes them interesting.

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