Category Archives: circle

New River Beach in New Brunswick and learning to move forward without fear

hula hoop on branch with shadow and sand drawing at New River Beach in New Brunswick

I traveled to New River Beach yesterday with Vikki, Gus and his little guy. It was a beautiful day, albeit too cold for swimming. I had my hoops with me and spent a good hour hula hooping up and down the coastline. Vikki wondered off photographing most of the coast… Hopefully she’ll upload the photos her Flickr.

We ended the day by driving back into Saint John to the Thai Hut located inside Quality Convenience on King Street and ordering chicken Pad Thai. Yum!

jessica doyle with boy and hula hoop

Last weekend, when I decided to take some time off from Etsy I drove to Fredericton to visit with these guys at their respective houses. Put it this way, it was the first trip I planned and took by myself. And, I knocked that irrational fear right out of the water people!

I’ve been close friends with these two since first year of College, which was 17 years ago now. I hadn’t seen them in seven years but we’ve kept in touch online and lately, the time just felt right to pick up from whence we left off in real life. Each of us seemed to have our own serious life and health related issues that we were coping with and healing from during those last seven years that needing tending to. All three of us are healthy and happy these days and moving forward. We each own our own homes and enjoy the work we do too which is mighty different than the apartments we each rented and the financial struggles we each faced during the post college years.

Both Gus and Vikki studied photography at the New Brunswick College of Craft and Design while I concentrated on Graphic Design and illustration.

The photo credits go to Gustavius. He snapped them with his cell phone. The links in this post will take you to their Twitter and Flickr accounts.

Life beyond Death after Indignity and before Google

Indignity can stem from not doing the things you want to do. You begin taking on someone else’s creation when you are not whom you are. Really, don’t you think that when you are feeling out of sorts and not choosing to be who you are then don’t you think it’s rather unbecoming of your personage you portray to the world. Why lie about who you are?

From time to time we all wonder why; that is, why we are the way we are. I have. I combat this thinking by doing.

I’m battling just that by creating art digitally rather than by traditional means by way of paper, paint and ink. I’ve been delving into photoshop breaking new ground, mixing up what I was taught long long ago in college. It feels very good to do what they said not to do.

Have you ever done that? Felt giddiness overtake you when you… fuck I just added giddYness to Google dictionary while trying to spell check it. Now, every time I spell check giddiness with a Y it will be spelled correctly. For that matter I won’t even know that I spelled it wrong for the little red dotted line that shows up underneath a word that needs to be spell checked won’t exist on giddyness anymore.

The thought of writing anonymously crosses my mind more than once every day. There is a an energetic side to me that needs to purge by way of words things often left better unsaid. Although, over the last couple of years I have had people write saying thank you for being so open and saying the things I could not say.

And I think… I haven’t said everything, all those things I want to say. Time will tell when they will be said.

I picked up the book 2012 on Friday and have begun reading.

I felt a kinship immediately Daniel Pinchbeck. However, my taught feminine psyche holds back and does not release this other side of me that I had found. Perhaps when need be, we do realize our authentic selves only through death. Up to that point we practice life. Beyond that point is after life. They call it death.

When my grandmother died she had said to my mom in the hospital that she was ready to go to heaven. I don’t believe in heaven. I believe in an after life. She was also talking her long dead husband and son saying she was on her way.

Words I’ve been pondering:

sex, love, family, success, money, life, death, orgasm, paint, fabricating, production, penis, indignity, trust, relationship, single, one, two, three, ignorance, bliss and lust

There is a ……………… part of me that still questions the validity my own digital art. I don’t know why or where I picked up the notion that manipulating a drawing of one’s own on a future date by means of computer from it’s original traditional creation on paper is wrong.


How to Get a Square to Fit into a Circle

In the search for understanding, we as human beings, have been taught to ask questions if we do not understand something. This is one of the most beautiful gifts we have been given; the ability to learn and intelligence. So now we can learn and we can ask questions about what we are learning to further understand it. We learn through our senses. We listen to the answer. We could watch a demonstration of the answer or even feel the answer through touch. Put simply we learn through example from those who came before us.


Now that we have learned something what do you do it? You could get a job with your newly learned information upon graduating from a center of higher learning. You could teach what you have learned to new, up and coming individuals or groups. Or, you could use what your new found knowledge by building upon it. By building upon it, I mean asking more questions, trying out techniques you develop yourself, exploring possibilities that you have not been tried before.

This is where the creative mind comes in.

Take a circle and a square of the same proportion and size. How do you fit that square through the circle? Fold the square? Thinking three dimensionally to ascertain certain answers that have puzzled people for years for begins solving past problems. And thinking three dimensionally is not as difficult as one may thinketh.

We are taught in school to write out the problem and formula followed by the solution. What if you already know the answer but not how you got to it? What if you know the formula but not the solution? And what if the problem isn’t really a problem at all; it is a quandary just to find out who knows, both the formula and the solution.

Problem. Formula. Solution. Why. How. Answer.

While visiting my doctor on Friday she again asked if I would like to talk with the Nutritionist on Staff. I grumbled saying “You asked me that the last time I was here.” For a split second I thought OK, this won’t be so bad. I fought back the little voice inside saying nooooooooo, Jessica you can figure it out on your own. I knew the problem and solution but lacked the proper formula to eat properly.

20 minutes and sitting in another office later with the Nutritionist I was anxious to the point of not being able to sit still. She smiled and introduced herself to me asking “What have your eating habits been since about grade seven?”. I knew they were bad, good, delightful, erratic and impulsive matching my nature to a tee. God, I thought I have not eaten a regular breakfast since grade seven. For 20 years I have not eaten a regular breakfast.

The last time I spoke with a Nutritionist was in 1997 following two surgeries for Crohn’s Disease. I did well with the diet prescribed and have been in remission since then. My weight since that time has fluctuatied 20 to 30 lbs at any given time. I don’t meet the criteria for a full blown eating disorder. However, what I am doing is not healthy. Funny though, I damn well know what I’m doing is not healthy, the why or problem and know the consequences of what I am doing is not healthy, the solution or answer but have never fully understood how it is unhealthy. The how is the formula I know why we as human beings need to eat properly to eat properly. I undestand proper serving sizes. I also know the Canadian Food Guide to healthy living. So why am I heaviest right now?

Back in grade eight I decided it best to eat only frozen mini-sips all day, not eating my first meal until supper time, after school. I always ate a healthy supper and then had many snacks until bed. I’m not a teenager anymore. I’m not in my twenties anymore. I am 32 and my body just does not bounce back as easily from my wild eating habits.

The nutritionist explained to that not eating until six or seven hours later after waking causes your metabolism to think it is still asleep. And that the sugar I drink through consuming Pepsi gives me the energy I need to get through the day however it puts weight on my belly and bum. She said you may think that eating three meals a day would cause you to put weight on but that it is a myth. When you eat breakfast after waking up your metabolism wakes up therefore begins to work. Feeding yourself regularly will keep your metabolism regular. It will begin to know when you are awake and then asleep. Right now my body is thinking it is asleep except for that short period of time in the evening when it awakes from eating supper and later snacks.

The answer is easy. Through following the formula one loses weight.

I will post my prescribed diet on Tuesday with the weigh in results for The Diet.

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